Birthday fanfiction

[tallulahgs]

Happy Birthday sabethea!

Hope it's a good one and you get to spend at least some of it doing something you like :D

I bring you silly fanfiction. Because what else would I bring?

[Title] World Domination at Malory Towers
[Fandom] That would be... Malory Towers :D
[Rating] G
[Notes/Summary] Inspired by this meme and requested by sabethea, who wanted to see Alicia as a supervillain. Cracky. I don't want any questions about the technological assumptions or mistakes in this ^^



"All right," Alicia said, pacing up and down the gymnasium floor. "Let's just check everything's going according to plan, shall we? Betty, as my trusted lieutenant, perhaps you'd like to remind me what we're supposed to have got done so far."

Grinning, Betty held up a notebook and pencil. "I've got a list right here. All right, first of all - the direct line to the Prime Minister."

"I've found that," Catherine Grey broke in. "I've got it written down here. And I've written out a list of points you said you wanted to cover when you were talking to him, Alicia. And I've even got the scrambling equipment so that he can't trace our call -"

"Yes, yes, all right," Alicia said. "A simple 'I've fixed it' would have done, my dear saint."

Catherine subsided, looking hurt.

"Next," Betty said, chewing her pencil, "at what point of the day will the satellite be correctly aligned with the earth? Gwendoline, I believe that was your area."

Gwendoline scowled at the floor. "No, it wasn't. Catherine was meant to do it."

"She was not," Alicia said, "because I distinctly remember saying that I wanted her to handle communications rather than you, because you would be more likely to betray me at the last second."

"You don't need to be so unkind," Gwendoline said, folding her arms and glaring at Alicia. "Sometimes I don't know why I said I'd help you."

"Because I said I'd let you rule America," Alicia said. "You'll only get Java if you don't start pulling your weight a bit more."

"Thirdly, the death ray itself," Betty said.

"I've checked Belinda's blueprints," Alicia said, "and I assume Irene's calculations are correct."

"Are you sure you want to rely on that?"

"Good point. Irene - Irene -"

Irene looked round from the window, where she'd been watching the sky and humming under her breath. "What?"

"We're taking over the world today, you donkey," Betty said. "Or did you forget?"

"Sorry. I was just working on that victory song for your new empire that you wanted me to compose, Alicia."

"That can wait until our plan's actually succeeded," Alicia said. "Can you please check all your calculations? I don't want to accidentally incinerate anything. Like us. Now, Belinda - did you carry out all those instructions I asked you to?"

"I think so," Belinda said, frowning. "No really obvious red wires, countdowns, or Off buttons..."

"Correct."

"Making speed the priority so that once the device is activated, it does what it's supposed to without any unnecessarily long pauses..."

"Good."

"And no self-destruct mechanism."

"Perfect. Well done. Betty, is that everything?"

"I think so," Betty said, flicking through her notes. "We're pretty much ready to go."

"Good. And you're absolutely positive that Sally and the others don't know that today's the day?"

"I don't think so," Betty said. "Besides, Sally's team is struggling anyway. Gwen, tell the others what you heard."

"Listening at doors again?" Alicia said.

Gwendoline flicked her hair back. "I just happened to hear that Darrell and Mary-Lou are feeling that Sally's drive to bring you down is getting a little... out of hand. Those two don't think you're actually capable of taking over the world, you know."

"And Sally does?"

"She certainly doesn't trust you," Gwendoline said, loftily.

Alicia smiled.

"Dear Sally. So sensible," she said. "So - apart from Irene's calculations, all we have left to check is the satellite's positioning, thanks to Gwendoline's lack of commitment."

"I'll do that," Belinda said.

"Good. We'll reconvene in half an hour. In the meantime, let's try not to look suspicious."

The girls dispersed, all except for Gwendoline, who dropped down and started struggling to tie up her shoelace. When everyone had gone, she straightened up, and waited.

Eventually another figure hurried into the deserted hall.

"You do all talk so much," June said, rolling her eyes. "I thought you'd never shut up."

"Be quiet," Gwendoline snapped. "All you need to know is that it's today. Now go and report back - if Sally and Darrell will trust you."

"Oh, Sally will trust me. Sally will trust anyone who badmouths my cousin to her." June studied Gwendoline for a moment. "Mind if I ask why you're changing sides?"

"I don't like Alicia," Gwendoline said. "Why aren't you on her side? You're really very like her, after all."

"Because she'd want to be the leader," June said. "And I would find that very difficult to put up with for more than, say, an hour. I'd watch out, though, Gwen. If Sally thinks you're capable of betraying her, she won't hesitate to get her revenge. Sure you wouldn't rather rule America?"

"Alicia thinks she's being so generous," Gwen said, viciously. "I don't want her handouts."

"Or perhaps you just want to be on the goodies' side for once," June said. "And get the praise you feel you deserve -"

"Are you going to go and report back to Sally or not?" Gwendoline snapped.

"Temper, temper," June said. "I'm going." She studied Gwendoline for a moment, then smirked. "You should be more happy. Alicia will spit when she finds out that it was us who spoilt her plan."

"That's true." Gwendoline smiled back. "She'll be furious."

"So get going and don't let her suspect you."

June watched as Gwendoline hurried away. She stood for a moment in the silent gymnasium, thinking, then sauntered towards the door.

"Megalomania," she murmured to herself as she left. "Fault of our family, you know."