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Jan. 20th, 2004 07:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tallulahgsAgain, I should learn to update my journal regularly so I don't have to babble everything in note form...
Saw Pirates Of The Caribbean last night. It is extremely silly - just when you think it's taking itself seriously, it acts silly again - but pretty enjoyable and Johnny Depp was very impressive and has gone way up in my estimation. (Though I still think Spike is cuter.)
On Sunday night, had a major row with my mum - still not sure exactly what it was about - and now she's away working and I don't feel like we made up properly, which is a pain. That night I got very angry and did some extremely stupid things.
I am getting very tired of the constant second-guessing my mind does. Like, when I just wrote that comment about stupid things, I thought 'that's a bit dumb, you're only writing that so they'll ask you what you did.' Then I told myself I didn't want to just blurt it out because it sounded like I was trying to make myself angsty and interesting. Then I told myself that that was a lie and I could have just not talked about the things at all. Then I went to have a lie down because I was confused ^_^;
Monday was better than I thought it would be. Have decided not to audition for a named role in The Gondoliers, which we're doing in the opera society, because I have no time and everyone else knows it better than me. I shall stay in the chorus, which is cool.
Felt kind of miserable today, mainly through Lynne telling me I did something wrong and a few baka customers. Also I got my period at about five a.m., and had cramps, which always makes me feel ratty.
Have noticed that I actually feel sadder and more trapped on my days off, presumably because I keep thinking 'tomorrow I'll be back at work'. When I'm actually at work I don't feel so bad.
I don't think I want to quit my job; well, I don't know. Another one may not be any better - it's all work - the pay's all right, and I can't motivate myself to find another job anyway. I don't know. And it might be good for me to stick with this. Only another eight month! ^_^V
One of my e-mail correspondents asked me if I could write a story without (quote) 'dragging gays into it'. I resent this as I don't feel gay people are dragged. Much. They volunteer of their own free will, right guys? It was a little surprising when I totalled up the fanfics that didn't have gay people in and found there were only about five.
Saw Pirates Of The Caribbean last night. It is extremely silly - just when you think it's taking itself seriously, it acts silly again - but pretty enjoyable and Johnny Depp was very impressive and has gone way up in my estimation. (Though I still think Spike is cuter.)
On Sunday night, had a major row with my mum - still not sure exactly what it was about - and now she's away working and I don't feel like we made up properly, which is a pain. That night I got very angry and did some extremely stupid things.
I am getting very tired of the constant second-guessing my mind does. Like, when I just wrote that comment about stupid things, I thought 'that's a bit dumb, you're only writing that so they'll ask you what you did.' Then I told myself I didn't want to just blurt it out because it sounded like I was trying to make myself angsty and interesting. Then I told myself that that was a lie and I could have just not talked about the things at all. Then I went to have a lie down because I was confused ^_^;
Monday was better than I thought it would be. Have decided not to audition for a named role in The Gondoliers, which we're doing in the opera society, because I have no time and everyone else knows it better than me. I shall stay in the chorus, which is cool.
Felt kind of miserable today, mainly through Lynne telling me I did something wrong and a few baka customers. Also I got my period at about five a.m., and had cramps, which always makes me feel ratty.
Have noticed that I actually feel sadder and more trapped on my days off, presumably because I keep thinking 'tomorrow I'll be back at work'. When I'm actually at work I don't feel so bad.
I don't think I want to quit my job; well, I don't know. Another one may not be any better - it's all work - the pay's all right, and I can't motivate myself to find another job anyway. I don't know. And it might be good for me to stick with this. Only another eight month! ^_^V
One of my e-mail correspondents asked me if I could write a story without (quote) 'dragging gays into it'. I resent this as I don't feel gay people are dragged. Much. They volunteer of their own free will, right guys? It was a little surprising when I totalled up the fanfics that didn't have gay people in and found there were only about five.
