I like this sort of disjointed, half-dream sort of thing. When I was reading it I sort of felt like I was floating along behind Matsuda or something. It was strange, but really good.
I really liked the pause after Matsuda's thinking about Ryuk. Oh, what was it? 'He's not freaked out by Ryuk, he's...' and then it goes to the other parts before coming back to it (which I didn't think you'd do.) with the whole line again and 'curious'. It works particularly well I thought.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2008-11-08 02:33 pm (UTC)I like this sort of disjointed, half-dream sort of thing. When I was reading it I sort of felt like I was floating along behind Matsuda or something. It was strange, but really good.
I really liked the pause after Matsuda's thinking about Ryuk. Oh, what was it? 'He's not freaked out by Ryuk, he's...' and then it goes to the other parts before coming back to it (which I didn't think you'd do.) with the whole line again and 'curious'. It works particularly well I thought.