Last day! And meme

[tallulahgs]

1. Join the Military or the Mob?
The military, because it's more likely you'd be able to leave, and it doesn't say you have to be on the front line.

2. Turn a close friend in if they committed a serious offense? example: murder?
Uh. I'm not sure. Depends why. Perhaps I'd tell them to flee town and I'd only rat on them if I was specifically asked. So to any of my friends thinking of committing murder: make sure you're not an obvious suspect.

3. Make one porno if it meant never having to work again?
Depends what I had to do in it ;)

4. Cheat on your bf/gf with your biggest crush if there was no possibility that they would EVER find out?
Erm, no. If I had a crush on someone enough to want to cheat, I shouldn't be with my bf/gf.

5. Eat spoiled food from the garbage or go hungry?
o_0 I'd rather be hungry than be sick, thanks.

What if...

1. In your relationship you find out you are going to have a baby but one of you doesn't want it. Who has the right to choose?
The person who's giving birth to the baby has more right, I guess *does not like debating abortion-related issues*

2. Your partner had to work overseas for a year, would you consider playing around?
See above comment on cheating.

3. You find out before having sex for the first time with your partner that they have a highly contagious STD, would you still have sex with them?
Not dignifying that with a response.

4. You are in a serious accident in the middle of nowhere and your only chance of survival is to cut off your own arm, would you do it?
*finds this incredibly funny for some reason* Um. I suppose so. If it was just an accident and not, y'know, like in Saw. Cos if it was in Saw I'd be tempted to let myself die just to show the psychotic maniac who wanted to have a laugh watching me fight. *cough*

5. You had to kill a member of your family if it meant you would save thousands of lives, would you?
Why exactly would this ever arise? And I think it'd be their choice, really. Because I don't believe any of my family would voluntarily commit mass homocide.

Yes or No

1. Have you had cyber-sex?
No.

2. Would you masturbate in front of your partner?
Maybe.

3. Would you tell your partner (who you really love) that they are bad in bed?
I don't think I'd spell it out, but I might try and suggest some things they could do to make things better.

4. While having sex, have you ever thought about someone else to keep you turned on?
Still a virgin, baby.

What do you think?

1. Gay marriage is wrong?
No, it isn't.

2. The night of your best-friend's wedding their fiance comes on to you, should you tell your best-friend?
Depends how serious he seemed about pressing his intent. And how drunk he was.

3. You catch one of your parents having a one-night-stand, should you tell the other parent?
Ew. I think I'd talk to the parent I caught first. But ew.

4. Your partner wants to go to a "swingers" club, would you go to keep your partner happy?
No.

5. You are about to tell your spouse that you want a divorce but they just found out that a close family member is dying, do you still tell them?
If the person's dying, I can wait *shrug*

Finale!

1. Would you/Have you ever fake illness to get attention?
No. Maybe exaggerate, or complain, but not fake.

2. You are the first to arrive at the scene of an accident but it turns out that the person hurt is your worst enemy, do you help or walk away?
... I'd help. Unless the person has murdered your family or something, why wouldn't you?

3. You have a non life threatening sexual disease, would you have a one night stand without telling the person?
... this is a stupid question.

4. Do you think it is important to tell the truth or spare someone's feelings?
I don't like lying, but I think others' feelings are important.

5. Do you think this survey was truly original?
I think this question is fishing for compliments.


Anyway. The twelfth day of Christmas brings twelve reconciliations!

[Title] On The Way To Heaven
[Rating] PG-13 overall
[Fandom] Battle Royale, mainly manga
[Notes/Summary] The students of Class B reconcile in various ways after death. 12 ficlets all based on this premise. Slight Satomi/Chisato and Ryuhei/Izumi.



Shuuya knows this is a dream, but when he thinks about all the death he has to believe that somewhere it's really happening.

He and Yoshitoki are standing in the stream like they did when they were little and went out trying to catch fish. The water is cool on Shuuya's toes and the sunlight sparkles on the surface.

"You do know you're..." He thought he'd be able to say dead, but somehow the word itself expires before it gets out of his mouth.

"Duh." Yoshi looks round, grins that wide grin that Shuuya knows he's never gonna see again. "C'mon, Shu."

Shuuya shrugs.

"And you know I..."

He doesn't want to say it. He just wants to carry on standing in the water wriggling his toes and having a laugh and then later walk back to the children's home and goof around and make Ms Ryoko tell them off for being too noisy and... be a child again. Yeah. As usual, using too many words when it can all be summed up in a sentence. Kawada would -

"What?" Yoshi turns to face him now. The sun is behind him, turning him into a silhouette. Or is it just Shuuya doesn't want to look him in the eye?

"I took Noriko to America," he says. It sounds stupid. "And we're..." But he can't say it. And it's not just about Noriko. It's about the way he didn't say the right thing to calm Yoshi down back in the classroom, and about how he sometimes goes days without thinking of and missing his friend, and about how he has new people to laugh with.

Yoshi turns away, stares up at the sunlight.

"It's not like I still have a chance with her," he says.

"I'm sorry." This time the words actually make it to the open air. And as he says it they bubble out of him, "I didn't wanna leave you behind, you're my friend, you'll always be my friend, I didn't want it to end up like this..."

"You're an idiot," Yoshi says, but affectionately. "It's not like you need to be beating yourself up when there's some people here with real apologies to make."

"Huh?"

"You're not the only one. And Shu?"

"Yeah?"

"It'd obviously be great if I was the one who took Nori to America, because... that would mean I wasn't dead..."

"Uh-huh -"

"But if someone else has to, I'm glad it's you. Now stop going on about it. We've still got some daylight left before you wake up."

Shuuya finds himself smiling properly now.




Keita is sitting on his own in a sunlit clearing, fiddling with dead leaves. Shinji realises he'd much rather be somewhere else right now, and then is irritated that he's feeling this. He shouldn't be scared of Keita, for God's sake.

The other boy looks up as he approaches. The terrified, screaming fear in his face is gone, but he still doesn't look very happy.

"So it didn't work, then," he says.

"What?"

"The plan you and Yutaka cooked up. It didn't work."

"No. No, it didn't."

He wonders if Keita's going to gloat, but instead the other boy just shrugs and picks up another leaf and starts tearing it up.

"I guess this is apology time," Shinji says at last.

Keita shrugs. "You won't listen if I do apologise. You won't believe me when I say I didn't mean to. So why -"

"I meant..." Keita's still annoying him even more. This isn't right. "I meant I should apologise. For shooting you."

Keita looks up.

"Did you do it on purpose?" he says.

"Huh?"

"I don't remember much, but you had that... thing. The box thing across your arm. It... maybe it threw your aim off, but... did you do it on purpose, Mim? Did you hate me that much?" Little specks of leaf patter onto the ground.

"Did you?" Shinji hears himself reply, and that small part of his mind that pretends to be his conscience sighs and buries its head in its hand. "You hang me out to dry over a Coke? Or did you genuinely miss all the drama?"

Keita opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again. Shinji wants him to say it's not the same. Killing someone is much worse. Then they can argue about it. He's good at arguing.

But there's silence except for the rustling of the trees around them.

"No, forget it. It's not the same," Shinji says at last.

Keita sniffs, drops the remains of the leaf-skeleton.

"I'm... I'm sorry." Shinji's never liked apologising. It's like someone smacking you in the chest, when you apologise and mean it. It feels like a lie even when it's not.

Keita doesn't apologise, but he doesn't gloat either. He just stares up at Shinji, frightened-eyed.

"Damn it, Keita, I said I was sorry!"

Keita shrugs, and Shinji suddenly realises.

"And it doesn't matter any more, does it?" he says. "Yay for being dead."

Sighing, he crosses the clearing and slumps down next to Keita.




It's beautiful out here. She's standing in a field, with nothing around her but the cloud-striped sky, and she can smell the grass and the fresh air and she holds out her arms and feels the coolness and nothing else touching her bare arms.

But there's someone on the horizon, and as soon as she sees him it's not fun any more.

"Mitsuko?"

She doesn't know how to act now. She's pretty sure she's dead, and she knows he's dead, so... can you screw when you're dead? Huh, probably. Some people will screw whatever happens. But not him, right? Maybe... she can't remember any more.

He's reached her. He's not bloody and screaming like he was when she left him. His hair's neat, his uniform clean and untorn, but as she meets his eyes she sees his face and knows he remembers too.

She doesn't know what to say.

"It's beautiful," he says at last, waving a hand round at the landscape. "Isn't it?"

"I..."

She can't speak. She doesn't remember how to talk to guys when you don't want something from them.

Yuichiro is watching her face. She wishes he'd stop. She's not feeling guilty, is she? She just doesn't know what to say.

"It's nice," she says at last, and manages to smile. A crude fake smile, nothing like the carefully crafted ones she'd put out when she still knew what the hell she wanted. And all at once she can't take any more small talk. "Do you hate me?" she says, and this time the smile is a bit better, a bit more polished.

Yuichiro watches her and she feels the smile cracking like the sun's got too hot.

"Say something," she says.

"I... I don't know what to say." He blushes. Part of her sneers awww, the otaku can't talk about it but the rest of her is just... confused and shaking and she doesn't know what to say either.

"It's the game," he says at last. "It changes people... right?" And he looks hopeful. It makes her feel sick. "You wouldn't have..."

"Maybe I would," she says, and it tastes horrible in her mouth. "You do hate me, right?" If he hates her she can handle it. She can sneer back and they can hate each other and it'll be fine.

"I don't know," he says.

"You ought to!" she says, and it comes out shriller than she meant, she can't be losing it, not now. "I wasn't exactly the cute little schoolgirl you wanted!"

He looks her right in the face, and even though he's blushing and he has to stare up to meet her eyes and he looks like a ten-year-old, he's able to say, "Did it happen to you?"

"What?"

"Did... it. You know." He's blushing even more. She wants to laugh and she wants to brush his cheek with her hand and cool him down and... "Obviously, not with the gunshot wound. But... the other stuff, the... you said... did it? Come on, Mitsuko, no one else is here, you can admit it if..."

"I don't have to tell you anything," she spits at him. Like a kid. Her when she... well, it should have been her when she was ten, but by the time she was ten Daddy'd already been touching her for a year or something and so she knows she'd started to act different.

But Yuichiro just nods. He sort of reaches out to her, as if he's going to touch her hand, but then stops.

"You don't have to stay," he says. "I'll be okay here, I'm looking for Tada. You can go if you want."

She wants to tell him she's sorry, but where would she start? She can't even blame the Program. Is she sorry? She doesn't know any more.

So she turns away and holds out her arms and the breeze rushes over the field, sending huge ripples through the grass, and when it's swept on she's no longer there, and there is no more thinking, no more questions, no more love. And that is Heaven.




Haruka isn't sure why she's sitting in a tree, but it's shady and peaceful and the smell of bark and the whisper of the leaves makes her calm. She rests her head against the trunk, and tries to pretend Yukie isn't there.

"You don't have to feel bad," Yukie says for the millionth time. "It was... it was the game. We all did some bad - some stupid things."

She's perched on the branch next to Haruka, swinging her legs. She looks whole and happy and Haruka can almost forget the way she screamed as she died. Almost, but not quite. And that's it, isn't it? Never quite forget. And they're going to be here for a long time. Possibly forever. Not quite forgetting could get really bad after a while.

Haruka takes a deep breath.

"I've always looked out for number one," she says at last. Start with a cliche. Cool. The bark is soft and she picks at it with a nail. The tree whispers around her. She doesn't want to see the ground. She doesn't want to see anything but dark leaves and shadows. She especially doesn't want to see Yukie's face.

"What do you mean?" Yukie doesn't sound angry. Just gentle.

"Oh, come on, Yukie. You're - you were smart. From the moment the game started... when Satomi said that about Chisato, when she accused her, I wanted... it was all about me, okay?" She's getting dirt and bark under her fingernails. And now she is dead and it doesn't matter how grubby she gets. "I knew I was meant to care about you guys as much as I did about me, but I didn't. You weren't shooting to kill Satomi, were you?"

"No."

"I was."

There's a long silence. Haruka closes her eyes and listens to the rustle of the leaves.

"Are you mad with me, Haruka?"

Why is Yukie so perceptive suddenly? "No." And why am I still lying? "Well. Maybe a bit. You're always so much... so..."

"Full of class president diplomacy crap?"

Haruka laughs. "I suppose that's one way of saying it. It's... you haven't done anything. I'm mad with me and just angry with you because you wouldn't have... oh, you know."

She glances over at Yukie. The other girl is looking straight ahead, her face patterned with soft shadows.

"We're never going to grow up," Yukie says softly.

"Well... no, but -"

"No, this is relevant. I mean... when you're a kid... you learn how to be nice, and you expect other people to be nice. I think it's only when you're grown up you learn to accept some people aren't nice and... let it not matter. And now I'm never going to grow up."

She turns to look at Haruka.

"But I'll try," she says.

Their hands, resting on the warm bark, are almost touching.




Mayumi Tendo is making her way across the slippery rocks by the shore, her plait swinging wildly as she jumps from dry patch to dry patch. The air stinks of seaweed and the stone under her feet is black and slimy.

Got to get out of here. Jump in and swim, make it to another island...

She knows she's not wearing the collar any more and she knows this isn't the Program but she also knows it's not home, not Shiroiwa, not real life. She can't stay here. She has to get back.

Above her, seagulls shriek. The sound is snatched away by the wind, but she shudders anyway. She doesn't like birds.

"Mayumi!"

Mayumi whirls round and almost slips. Flailing, trying to stay upright, she sees a large figure clambering over the rocks towards her.

Akamatsu.

"What do you want?" she yells back at him through the breeze. She's not sure she and Akamatsu ever spoke more than two words to each other. She's never been the sort of person to do the whole fake kindness thing, which is probably why Yukie and co never really accepted her -

But as Akamatsu gets closer, she sees that he's crying. That's no surprise, but the fact that he's trying to get to her rather than scurry off into a corner so no one will see the tears is.

"Mayumi..." He's gulping and gasping for breath. "Mayumi, I'm so... sorry... thought I'd never see you again... thought I'd never..."

"What are you..." She stops. "Whatever. Look, I have to go -"

"No, please, Mayumi, wait -" He's almost reached her, his breath coming in little rasps like he's having an asthma attack. "Leave me alone!" she yells, and turns to run. Akamatsu lunges after her and slips.

She almost keeps going, jumps into the sea and swims away to - what? Even though the horizon is bare except for the golden sunset licking across the water. But Akamatsu is still calling her name, feebly now, in between sniffs, and in the end she stops and marches back, gives him her hand. He takes it, but doesn't pull himself up, just stares up at her pathetically.

"Mayumi..."

"Yeah, we've done that bit."

"Please, Mayumi, I'm sorry."

"All right, all right. Dunno why you're sorry, but I'm sure I forgive you."

Akamatsu frowns.

"Don't you remember?" he says.

Mayumi shakes her head.

"The Program. You remember the Program, right? You remember we got chosen? And I went out first and when you came out I... I..."

"I remember the classroom," Mayumi says slowly. "And Kuninobu snuffing it, and Fujiyoshi... but..."

Akamatsu sniffs. His hand in hers is cool; she'd always thought he'd be sweaty-palmed cos he's so big, but he isn't.

"I remember thinking I hoped Chigusa wouldn't stick around, she scared the crap out of me... and Tsukioka was scared, I never seen him scared before... and then me and..."

Sudden darkness...

"And..."

Akamatsu swallows.

"No." Mayumi hears her own voice sounding stupid and squeaky and she grits her teeth, trying to keep it steady. "No. No, I can't be. No. I know the Program's tough but I couldn't have... I didn't even... I didn't even see what weapon I..." She stares round the silent shore, the still sea, the empty horizon. "No! I want to go home!"

Akamatsu whimpers.

"No!"

She's known it all along but now she has to face it -

"Why did you do it?" she's screaming suddenly, and she's dropped down, kneeling on the damp rock, shaking Akamatsu so hard her arms ache. "Why did you kill me, you ruined everything, you bastard!" And all he's doing is crying, not even trying to get her to stop shaking him, just crying, and... and...

Slowly things become calm again. Another seagull calls. Her head aches from the crying and her nose is running and seawater is soaking into her dress and Akamatsu is patting her nervously on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he says again. "It wasn't... I mean, it wasn't because I didn't like you or anything. I mean, I didn't really know you, but... you know, you seemed nice. I just..." He gulps. "I was so scared..."

Mayumi sniffs, rubs her nose on her hand. She can taste salt on her lips.

"I guess you died too, huh?" she says at last.

"Yeah."

She looks at him properly now, blinking away tears.

"You wanna swim for it?" she says.

"Huh?"

"You wanna go home?"

"Yes."

"Then let's go." She kicks off her shoes, watches them - neat brown shoes with flat heels - go sailing into the distance. Peeling her socks off, she stands up, yelping as her feet touch the cool damp surface of the rock. Akamatsu laughs, nervously, and after a few moments' hesitation, pulls off his school coat and drops it onto the ground. Mayumi starts to laugh as well. He looks so... unspontaneous. Akamatsu looks down at her and grins. She never saw him smile before.

"What if we don't make it?" he says, following her to the water's edge. The sea is deep and dark blue, but it's warm against Mayumi's toes.

"We'll..."

She stops.

"It doesn't matter," she says at last. "Better to try and fail, and all that."

"Is it?"

"Don't worry. We'll make it."




"Oh, man, these are good!"

Yuka crams some more blackberries into her mouth. The path is thick with brambles and each bramble bush is laden with large, juicy blackberries. Her fingers are covered in sticky purple juice and her hands are covered in scratches, but it's worth it.

She spots a particularly tasty-looking berry some way back from the path and leans forward to grab it, wincing as the brambles scratch at her stomach. "Yes. Seal of approval, baby. Hey, Yuko, you want this one?"

Yuko Sakaki is standing in the middle of the path, arms wrapped round herself.

"Yuuuko?"

Yuko shakes her head eventually. "No, thank you, Yuka."

Yuka pops the berry into her mouth, mmming with delight. "C'mon. You should have some, they're gorgeous. Guess they would be, though, if this is Heaven."

Yuko's head is bent, but Yuka sees her turn pale.

"I don't..." The whisper is so quiet Yuka can hardly hear it. "I don't deserve..."

"Aw, Yuko, don't start this again. You made it to Heaven. It's all okay."

Yuko doesn't answer. Yuka is being to feel kind of creeped out. She's not sure exactly what happened after she - ouch - died, except that none of the others made it either, and it's taken what feels like hours to get Yuko to explain about the poison.

"It wasn't personal," she says, patting Yuko on the shoulder. "That makes it okay, I figure."

"Don't say that." Yuko's voice is sharper now. "You didn't see what - you didn't see them -"

"Yeah, but that's not my deal, you know? I'm just liking the blackberries. And from what you said, you... well, you made up for it. I s'pose. I mean... geez, Yuko, you're making me be serious. That's just wrong."

Yuko giggles, then stops.

"Everyone makes mistakes," Yuka says, popping another berry into her mouth. "I make loads of 'em. Remember when Mr Hayashida told me he'd never seen anyone misunderstand trigonometry so dramatically? Or when I accidentally said orgasm instead of organism in my report? Or... or that time I was talking to Satomi and it came out sounding like I thought she was boring. She was so pissed off... so upset, I mean. We didn't talk for a week."

"But those are just little mistakes," Yuko says at last.

"Yeah, but what you did? That was a mistake too. Better'n what Kiriyama or Mitsuko did, doing it on purpose. Always better'n that, Yuko."

Yuko doesn't say anything, but her shoulders relax a little.

"Here," Yuka says, taking the other girl's cold hand and uncurling the fingers. "Have a blackberry."

She places the fruit on Yuko's palm, and eventually, Yuko puts it into her mouth, and smiles. It always helps knowing there's someone worse than you out there, and the sun is still shining.

Munching blackberries together, they walk on down the path.




Hiroshi isn't surprised to see Kazuo sitting at the clifftop with his coat thrown over his shoulders. He figured Kazuo'd pick somewhere dramatic. And this is dramatic - the sunset's hanging in the sky like it's showing off, turning Kazuo's face golden.

Hiroshi sits down on the grass, stretching his legs out, and nods to Kazuo. "Yo."

Silence.

"So... you lost the Program, then."

Kazuo continues to stare at the sea.

"Seen Mitsuru?" Hiroshi picks at the grass. "I figured prob'ly not. He'd be all ohmigod how could you. Huh. I bet he was." He wishes he'd got some cigarettes. All he needs for Heaven. "And Ryuhei... well, I shouldn't think he liked seeing me get blown apart. Stuff like that can... you know, traumatise a person."

Kazuo doesn't reply. Hiroshi'd be wondering if the guy was dead except for the fact that he can just hear Kazuo breathing.

"So. Yeah. Who took you down?"

The silence stings and for a moment he thinks Kazuo's gonna storm off, or shoot him, or something. But he doesn't. In the end, he doesn't, he just speaks. "Nanahara. Nakagawa. And Kawada."

The voice is as blank as always.

"Nakagawa?" Hiroshi snickers, then laughs. "You are kidding."

Silence again, reminding him that Kazuo never kids.

"Oh, man."

"Are you... traumatised?"

"Huh?"

"You said that Ryuhei would be traumatised. Are you traumatised, Hiroshi?"

"Me? Nah. It was quick. I mean... I was pissed at first, but... I was dumb to trust you, no offence and all. Dunno what I was thinking."

A shrug, as if Kazuo doesn't know either. Which he probably doesn't.

"Did you feel anything?" Hiroshi says at last. "In the end. Did it get to you?"

Kazuo turns to look at him. The dead eyes and straight line mouth are both reassuringly familiar and creepy as hell.

"I felt again," he says. "Everything. I think that part of me has already gone on, so -"

"Already gone on?"

"This isn't Heaven," Kazuo says. "This is purgatory. I think I am only here because I knew I needed to wait for you. Not Mitsuru or Ryuhei or Shou. Because they would want me to be sorry, and I'm not. You don't care."

"Fair enough." Hiroshi stretches. "So... what're you gonna do now? I reckon we've had enough talking."

Kazuo gets to his feet.

"I'm going to jump," he says.

"Huh?"

"What else is there to do? This part of me is already dead."

Hiroshi considers, then nods. "I like it. It's got style."

Kazuo doesn't answer.

"Mind if I join you?" Hiroshi says.

"If you want. I didn't think you would want to."

"Well... it's boring as hell and I ain't got any cigarettes."

Kazuo nods, and stretches out a hand to Hiroshi, pulls him to his feet, and they walk to the edge of the cliff. They stand together for a moment, looking down at the black and gold sea, and then they both leap.




"Takako, wait!"

Kayoko pushes through the forest. The trees are tall and spindly and hiss around her as she follows the tall girl who's pushing through the undergrowth as if it's not there.

"Takako!"

Takako Chigusa stops suddenly, and Kayoko stumbles and almost crashes into her. Huh. Typical. She's always been scared of Takako. And she's really scared now.

"What do you want?" she says coolly. "Why are you following me?"

"I... I wanted to talk to you." Geez, Takako actually looks like an ice maiden. Like she's made out of actual ice. So pale, even with her coloured hair. Kayoko swallows, and continues, "About Sugi. Sugimura."

Takako's eyes widen a little. Kayoko can see the patterns of the trees reflected in them.

"Why do you want to talk about Sugimura?" she says at last. "I didn't know you ever talked to him."

"We only ever talked twice." Kayoko rocks back on her heels, feeling the soft earth beneath her feet. "Uh. The first time was about kittens... the second time was about... stuff."

Takako just stares at her.

"I was just wondering," Kayoko says at last, "if you'd seen him."

Takako shakes her head.

"I don't think I will," she says. "We... we said all that..." Angrily, she rubs a hand across her eyes. "You think you've got unfinished business? I don't reckon you'll find people if you don't need to."

"So... I guess I need to talk to you, then."

Takako shrugs. "Huh." She studies Kayoko. "So he was after you, was he?"

"Takako - I -"

"Just answer the question."

Kayoko nods. Part of her wants to goof around, make this seem less serious, but if she does that, Takako might kill her.

"He told me," she says. "After Kiriyama..."

Takako sighs irritatedly. "So he couldn't manage it until after the psycho with an Uzi showed up?"

Kayoko giggles, mainly because she's not sure what else to do. "No. It was kind of cute really. He was so embarrassed and I just thought it was cos he wasn't used to girls, you know? I didn't realise he... geez, I was so thick."

"You two make a good pair," Takako says dryly.

"Oh, thanks."

Takako shrugs as if she's bored with the conversation already.

"Takako?" Kayoko is still scared, but the fact that they've managed to talk for this long gives her some courage. "Uh... you're not mad with me, are you? I mean... everyone thought you and Sugi were... I mean, I didn't set out to -"

"Oh, for God's sake." Takako flicks her hair back and her eyes narrow. "Of course I'm not mad with you. I just wanted to see him happy and I know he would've been happy with you. I mean I - of course if - but it didn't. I was too... tall." She smiles.

"Oh." Kayoko kicks at the leafy ground for a moment. Suddenly she feels a lot better. "Okay. Uh... hey, you wanna go find him?"

"I doubt we will."

"But we can try. Don't you wanna try?"

Takako presses her lips together, and for a moment she doesn't look scary at all.

"Sure," she says at last. "Come on."




The rocks are flat and wide and warm in the sun. Shogo Kawada can see Kyoichi huddled there like a crow with a broken wing. Sighing, he walks up to him and before Kyoichi can dash away, he's dropped down next to him.

"Cigarette?"

Kyoichi stares at him.

"Do you want a cigarette, idiot. I'm in a hurry."

Slowly, Kyoichi shakes his head.

"Um." He licks his lips, straightens his glasses. "Look. You are... you shot off my hand, didn't you."

"Yeah."

"And then you killed me."

"Yeah, that's about it."

"And now you're offering me a cigarette."

"I am."

Kyoichi frowns. "And... this doesn't seem odd to you?"

"Well, you're the... sixteenth person I've met on this rock, so no, not really. I found offering 'em a smoke's a good ice-breaker."

Kyoichi's mouth drops open, and he swallows. "Sixteen? What... the rest of the class..."

"Nah, some other people."

"Oh."

There's silence for a moment. Shogo stretches out, tilting his face to the sky to feel the sun on it.

"Let's see," he says after a while. "After you I reckon it'll be Kaori Minami. Dunno how that one's gonna go. Then... maybe our pal Kiriyama. Or maybe not. Noriko and Shuuya gotta take some responsibility for that one, and they made it out alive, so... yeah. But the one after that's someone I'm real keen to see, so... feel free to chat."

"Chat?" Kyoichi says at last, like he doesn't know the word.

"Yeah. You know... parley, babble, talk crap."

"Why?"

"It's just something that's happening. Meeting up after the Program and getting to know the innocent victims."

"What... facing up to what you've done?" Kyoichi says at last, slowly.

"I guess. Ain't really getting to me, though."

"That's not a very nice thing to say."

"Well, I figure you'd like me to be honest. It ain't. I dunno, maybe I'll have to go see 'em all again before I get to... you know, make it stick? So don't freak out if I show up again."

Kyoichi frowns.

"What do you want me to do?" he says. "I was going to kill Nanahara. I would have done if you hadn't..." His mouth tightened. "Am I supposed to say sorry to you? I'm not sorry. I did what I was told, I did what I thought was right, I had to -"

He stops, biting off the words.

"You know what?" he says at last.

"Mm?"

"When you - when I realised you were going to kill me, I... most of me was scared, obviously, and angry, but I... part of me was glad. Because there was no way I'd have to try and win any more."

There's a long silence.

"You should take some time to relax here," Shogo says. "You know, take off your shirt, sunbathe, chill."

"I burn in the sun."

"I don't think you will here."

More silence.

"You were a straight-A student, right?" Shogo shifts, stubs out the end of his cigarette on the rock. "I guess that's all I noticed about you. You were always reading."

"Do you really care?" Kyoichi says, quietly. "Or are you just asking so you can move on?"

"I wanna care. It's not my fault I was born a cynical bastard and then got put through two Programs. C'mon, work with me. I don't do feelings stuff very well."

Kyoichi shrugs. "I'm not sure I do."

"Okay, fine, we'll talk about sports or something. Just put some effort in."

Kyoichi leans forward, resting his chin on his hands. "I was always second in class, behind Kiriyama and in front of Noda. I didn't really do much but work. My father..." He stops. "No, that's not important now, is it?" Another pause. "Actually, being second in class isn't important now either." Another pause. "I... I don't think that... that anything is..."

His voice trails off.

"Great," Shogo says. "I love precipitating emotional crises in my victims."

Kyoichi doesn't answer.

"Don't worry." Shogo gets to his feet, pats Kyoichi on the shoulder. "Walk the rocks a bit. Have... a think. You've got time. And for God's sake take off that damn coat, no one's going to yell at you for breaking the dress code now."

He starts to walk away. Kyoichi doesn't move for several seconds, but Shogo looks back and sees him pull off his coat.




"Oh, geez, a pond." Hirono flops down on the damp grass and squints at the midges hovering above the water. "How appropriate."

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response." Toshinori Oda is sitting bolt upright, little fists clenched, a lofty expression on his face.

"What? It's not like you don't look like a frog."

"And it's not like you don't look like a cheap slut, but I don't make cheap remarks about it, now do I?"

"No. You just strangle me and then push me into a well."

"You shot me in the stomach!"

"Oh, bitch bitch, you had the vest on."

"It still left a bruise."

Hirono smacks at a midge, and rolls onto her stomach, picks a small blue flower growing near her. "See how sorry I'm not."

"Well, I'm not sorry either."

"Fuck you then."

Toshinori sniffs.

"So... reckon this is Heaven?" Hirono says at last. She picks the petals off the flower, crushes them between her fingers. "Bit cool for Hell. But I wouldn't have thought either of us'd make it here."

"I certainly wouldn't share Heaven with you."

"Ditto, frogface, so don't act so smug. I dunno, maybe it's not Heaven. I can't help thinking it ain't coincidence we're here together."

"Oh." Toshinori frowns. "Do you think we're meant to be... apologising to each other?"

"Possibly."

"That is not going to happen."

"No." Hirono grins. "I hate you, I think you're a piece of shit, and all the pretty flowers in the world ain't gonna change that."

"And I find you utterly abhorrent, I think you're a waste of space, and I disapprove of every facet of your life. No matter how many glades I walk through."

"Glad we got that out in the open."

"Yes."

"Of course..." Hirono kicks off her shoes, wriggles forward and dips her toes into the pond. "We may be stuck with each other until we make up."

Toshinori swallows. "What... for eternity?"

"Yeah."

"I could go insane."

"Tell me about it."

Toshinori crawls over to the pond, dips his hands in the water and splashes his face.

"Oda?"

"Yes?"

"If the positions had been reversed..."

"Mm?"

"I'd totally have pushed you down the well."

Toshinori glances at her from under his eyelids. "Obviously."

Hirono stretches.

"I'm gonna go for a swim," she says. "You coming?"

"No. I don't want to share the same water as you. It's disgusting."

"Okay. Sit and sweat." Hirono pulls her school shirt off over her head, then wriggles out of her skirt, and slides into the water. "Oh, man, this is good."

"Shut up."

"Lovely and cool."

"Be quiet!"

"Best swim I ever had..."

"Don't make me drown you!" Toshinori frowns. "Again!"

Hirono laughs, ducks under the water and then resurfaces with her spiked hair flattened and dribbling water over her face.

Eventually, Toshinori rolls up his trousers and dips his toes into the pond.

"Yay, webbed feet."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

Toshinori kicks out at her, rolls onto a slippery bit of ground, and falls into the pond. When Hirono's stopped laughing, she floats on her back, staring up at the sunlight between the trees, and says, "I'd rather be alive again than go to Heaven, y'know."

"Hmph."

"I reckon you would too."

Silence.

"I reckon maybe bickering for eternity's all right. At least it's what we know."

Toshinori sighs, and for once, doesn't contradict her.




The moonlight glows on the sea. Satomi pushes her bare feet into the damp sand, and sighs.

"Chisato, please. I know it's got to be you."

The waves foam onto the sand. She walks forward, stares down at the silvery water rushing over her toes.

"I know I killed the other two but Yukie will forgive and Haruka will understand. It was different with you."

No sound but the waves.

"I know you're there. Please... come and talk. Look... no Uzi." She giggles, but it turns into a sob. "I don't know what to do else..."

Far away she sees her, floating on the tide like driftwood.

"Chisato?"

Chisato sits up, water streaming from her hair. She doesn't say anything, just stares at Satomi, the moon shining on her tears.

"You heard what I said, right?" Satomi says. "Look, just say something, I don't care what, I just need you to talk..."

Chisato swallows slightly. In the moonlight she glows.

"I was so scared," she says.

"I... I know."

"I was so scared and it wasn't okay."

"No."

Chisato gulps, curling up on herself, her hair falling around her face. "Why did you have to do that?" she sobs. "Why didn't you just put the stupid gun down? I thought it was gonna be okay and it ended up being so bad..."

Satomi crouches down, kneeling in the surf, and reaches out to put her hand on Chisato's shoulder.

"I was scared too," she says.

Eventually Chisato raises her head and puts her arms round Satomi. They sit together for some time as the waves breathe in and out around them.

"Come with me?" Chisato says at last.

"Of course I will."

Satomi clutches Chisato's damp fingers in hers, and together they walk into the darkness of the sea.




Ryuhei sits up, looks around. He's sitting in a clearing, and all around him as far as he can see are burnt trees. The ground is soft with pale ash.

"Wow, you finally bothered to wake up," a voice spits from behind him. A girl's voice. Ryuhei turns, starts to get to his feet, but the next moment she's charged towards him and smacked him hard round the face, and he falls, tasting ash and smoke in his mouth.

"I - Izumi?"

"Oh. You remember." Izumi's eyes are wide and furious, her teeth gritted. "Congratulations. I thought I'd stopped mattering to you by now."

"Look, we -"

"Shut up!" She kicks out, catches him in the stomach. He knows he should get up, do something, he's being beaten up by a girl f'fuck's sake; but he doesn't know what to do. Smacking her one doesn't feel right.

"You remember?" she says. Her voice is like breaking glass. "Remember the Program? Remember what you and Kuronaga wanted to do?"

"It was Hiroshi -"

"Bullshit!" She punches him this time. She can punch really fucking hard for a girl - the blow rings through his teeth and blood mingles with the ash. "I'm - I wasn't deaf! He may have had the idea but you were up for it! I should thank Kiriyama. At least he wiped us all out before you lot had your fun."

"Look, I... I just..." Ryuhei rubs the blood off his chin. "I just... I thought I was gonna die, okay? And they said, they said about giving up virginity, that's what gave us - gave Hiroshi - the idea. And... I just..."

How can he explain he's never been able to understand how girls think, and how fucking terrifying that is when they might have guns? How can he explain how he saw her in the distance and - the fear and the fury at the fear and how he doesn't know how to fight girls, not like he knows how to fight guys? How can he explain that back in seventh grade he thought she was kind of cute and if she hadn't been a rich bitch and he hadn't been a JD he would've asked her out? (Or maybe it wasn't that, maybe he was just scared again.) How can he explain how the government spelling it out like that had made it seem like okay. And like... suddenly you're given a weapon and told kill or be killed, but with... the other thing, ain't like anyone'll be thinking about that with him. Not even Shou. Making it all okay again. Making it safe.

Showing Kazuo we're cool, we're hard, he can't fuck with us... Actually, this one has only just occurred to him. He'd trusted Kazuo before, like they all had.

"I'm sorry?" he says at last. Man, he can't remember the last time he apologised.

Izumi studies him.

"What, you want me to forgive you?" she says at last.

"I... I dunno, I just... you're s'posed to say sorry, right?"

Izumi rolls her eyes. For another moment she stares down at him with her bitch queen face on, but the next moment her mouth trembles, and she bites her lip.

"And I'm supposed to forgive," she says at last. Her voice is going all squeaky. "And I can't. I don't know how."

Ryuhei shrugs. He's not sure he's ever forgiven anyone, so he doesn't know what she expects him to say.

Izumi sits down on the charred, black ground, lets the ash drift through her fingers.

"I can't do this," she says at last. "God, I'm so..."

Ryuhei picks up a burnt twig. It crumbles in his fingers.

"I don't think we got anywhere else to go," he says.

"No."

"Whatever. I don't - I don't care 'f you forgive me or not."

"I don't either."

And then there is just silence, and the two of them sitting in the burnt-out landscape.

Comments

[tallulahgs]

It is bloody, but I think it's also very cool *attempts to convert you* ^^

Yeah, I remembered all the times I've gone for walks picking blackberries, and I really wanted Yuka's to involve food, so it was a no-brainer really!

Thanks very much for commenting - I'm glad you liked them!