Fanfiction from 1,000 fathoms
Mar. 5th, 2008 06:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tallulahgs[Title] Sunlight Apathy
[Fandom] Battle Royale/Death Note
[Rating] PG for kissing
[Pairing] Kazuo Kiriyama/L
[Notes/Summary] While hanging around Tokyo University, L runs into a person who intrigues him almost as much as Raito does. May not fit entirely with DN canon, and is a BR AU in that (presumably) Class B were never chosen for the Program. I still find writing from L's POV a bit head-melting. Written for and crossposted to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
40fandoms.
It is the last lecture on a calm and sunny afternoon and L sits at the back of the auditorium with his bare feet resting on the itchy seat of the chair and watches other students sleeping. He can see Raito Yagami a few rows below him - distinctive because he's one of the few people sitting up straight and actually taking notes. L himself is not bothering to write anything. It isn't as if he doesn't already know about what's being discussed.
It isn't as if he really needs to be here at all. He has made contact with Raito now. He has extended the necessary invitations. He doubts that Raito will let any clues regarding his true identity drop in the middle of a crowd of students, albeit sleepy ones. There are better things to be doing.
Perhaps it was the sun, which is just visible, welling up over the narrow windows around the top of the hall. Perhaps it made him feel that he should be doing something other than sitting in a hotel room staring at a screen. But where would he get such a belief? It's a parental one, he knows, and...
He has surely not come here just to watch Raito. There is no point to that, right now. And it isn't as if he finds the lecture hall a congenial environment. Time hangs in the air and all one can do is sit and listen. There is nothing to do. He wonders whether Raito feels the same, whether he is bored. Perhaps it's different if you find the subject interesting.
(But Raito has never given off the air of someone who's fascinated with his subject. He studies hard because that's what he's supposed to be doing. Isn't that right?) L taps his thumb against his teeth. A few rows below him, two students are playing noughts and crosses. L studies the game, notes the moves each of them will have to make to win, and isn't too surprised when neither of them notice said moves and end up tieing.
The door creaks. He looks up to see someone getting up, walking out. The lecturer looks up, mildly annoyed, but he seems to have been stricken by the same sunlight apathy as his class. Raito doesn't look round.
L has never been someone who wastes time. Especially not for motives that he himself is unaware of. He waits ten minutes, not wishing to trigger a mass exodus, and then clambers down from the seat - it thumps quietly back, sending up a small cloud of dust - slides his trainers back on, and ambles to the door.
Outside, the lobby is filled with white-hot sunlight, spilling through the grimy glass panes. The boy who walked out first is standing by the wall - not leaning against it, but just standing, as if he's not sure where to go next. No. There is no confusion in his face. In fact, there's very little expression at all. L studies him, curious as to what he's thinking (and noticing that that too may be a form of time-wasting, and wondering why he seems so keen to waste time when it's not unlikely he could be killed within a year).
The boy notices his gaze, stares back. He doesn't speak. His hair is long, but slicked-back, a little like a delinquent's would be, but he is dressed neatly, nondescript - not dissimilar to the way Raito dresses.
L cannot figure him out.
"Why did you leave?" he asks.
The boy does not shrug, or smile, or even turn away. He simply answers. "I read around this topic last week. I realised that the lecturer was simply reiterating the basics. And so I felt it was not worth my while to stay."
"That's very keen. You are a first-year, I believe?"
"Yes. Are you?"
L nods.
"Why did you leave?" the boy says at last. His voice is flat.
"Similar reasons. I too have already studied what we were being told."
"I haven't seen you in class much," the boy says.
"No. I don't attend much." If you were putting on an act, why would that act involve so much nothing? Raito's act is full of politeness and careful amusement and friendly interest. Even if he turns out not to be Kira, L will still be interested to see what's behind the facade. This boy - it is as if someone else took his personality.
The boy's gaze flicks over L's jeans, untucked shirt and untied shoelaces, over his hair and his shadowed eyes, and then he says, "Do you not attend because you are too busy sleeping?"
L allows himself to smile. "I don't sleep very much."
"Neither do I."
"What do you do instead?"
The boy's face almost twitches.
"Nothing much," he says. "There isn't much to do, here."
L takes a step or two closer. The floor squeaks on the soles of his shoes. Around them, the lobby is silent except for the faint hum of the lecturer's voice, rising and falling. Raito will be still be listening. Raito would never walk out of a lecture. Would he? L wonders why he is suddenly so unsure of all his deductions. Doubt is usually fatal, in the end. (And why is the idea of fatality not more perturbing?)
(Well. His motivation for solving the Kira case is not fear of death.)
The boy stares at him.
"I was under the impression that university was supposed to be fun," L says, tilting his head a little. The boy's expression is still cold, the eyes smooth and flat like the surface of pebbles.
"There is no challenge here."
"No. There isn't." That isn't true. There are many challenges - most of them social - but L is not interested in them. For him, this is only temporary, after all. (This apathy, this waiting for Kira to make the next move. Perhaps he is just being greedy. Perhaps he wants the game to move faster.)
(Perhaps.)
The boy leans forward - a quick, ruthless movement - and kisses him.
(Perhaps he wants -)
A dry, strong mouth, the lips remaining closed. Both of them still have their eyes open, as well. (A mimic, perhaps. Students are supposed to ease boredom (and loneliness?) by kissing. L does not feel as if anything has been eased by this. He suspects the same holds true for his opponent.)
(What does boredom make Raito do? Who does he kiss?)
L blinks. He is wasting this opportunity. He does not get the chance to kiss, usually. This is research - and he lets his mouth fall open a little, to see what the boy will do. For a moment there is stillness, then the boy kisses him back - an odd, awkward movement that doesn't match the way he stands, talks, stares - one hand reaches up, clutches L's shoulder, hard enough to be painful. The kiss is damper now, and not particularly comfortable, and yet L can feel his body responding to it, even as he muses on the irritation of trying to breathe through his nose and the mild unpleasantness of so much spit. It is odd that one's system would be hard-wired to respond to something as pointless as this.
The kiss stops. The boy is still gripping L's shoulder. For a moment they simply stare at each other.
(L does not normally find touching other people a necessary or important part of life. The fact that he very much wants to kiss this boy again is just another thing in a list of his behaviours that he finds odd.)
"After all," he says, "there really isn't much else to do."
"The lecture will end soon. We should go."
L does not want Raito to see him doing this. Whether this is because it might give Kira some kind of advantage, or another reason, he isn't sure.
"Where should we go?" he asks.
"I do not live with anyone else. We could go there."
L nods, follows him towards the glass doors. He is doing this because - he cannot explain it, but it is somehow tangled up with watching Raito from the back of the lecture hall. He wonders why his partner is doing this. Perhaps there is no reason at all.
[Fandom] Battle Royale/Death Note
[Rating] PG for kissing
[Pairing] Kazuo Kiriyama/L
[Notes/Summary] While hanging around Tokyo University, L runs into a person who intrigues him almost as much as Raito does. May not fit entirely with DN canon, and is a BR AU in that (presumably) Class B were never chosen for the Program. I still find writing from L's POV a bit head-melting. Written for and crossposted to
40fandoms.It is the last lecture on a calm and sunny afternoon and L sits at the back of the auditorium with his bare feet resting on the itchy seat of the chair and watches other students sleeping. He can see Raito Yagami a few rows below him - distinctive because he's one of the few people sitting up straight and actually taking notes. L himself is not bothering to write anything. It isn't as if he doesn't already know about what's being discussed.
It isn't as if he really needs to be here at all. He has made contact with Raito now. He has extended the necessary invitations. He doubts that Raito will let any clues regarding his true identity drop in the middle of a crowd of students, albeit sleepy ones. There are better things to be doing.
Perhaps it was the sun, which is just visible, welling up over the narrow windows around the top of the hall. Perhaps it made him feel that he should be doing something other than sitting in a hotel room staring at a screen. But where would he get such a belief? It's a parental one, he knows, and...
He has surely not come here just to watch Raito. There is no point to that, right now. And it isn't as if he finds the lecture hall a congenial environment. Time hangs in the air and all one can do is sit and listen. There is nothing to do. He wonders whether Raito feels the same, whether he is bored. Perhaps it's different if you find the subject interesting.
(But Raito has never given off the air of someone who's fascinated with his subject. He studies hard because that's what he's supposed to be doing. Isn't that right?) L taps his thumb against his teeth. A few rows below him, two students are playing noughts and crosses. L studies the game, notes the moves each of them will have to make to win, and isn't too surprised when neither of them notice said moves and end up tieing.
The door creaks. He looks up to see someone getting up, walking out. The lecturer looks up, mildly annoyed, but he seems to have been stricken by the same sunlight apathy as his class. Raito doesn't look round.
L has never been someone who wastes time. Especially not for motives that he himself is unaware of. He waits ten minutes, not wishing to trigger a mass exodus, and then clambers down from the seat - it thumps quietly back, sending up a small cloud of dust - slides his trainers back on, and ambles to the door.
Outside, the lobby is filled with white-hot sunlight, spilling through the grimy glass panes. The boy who walked out first is standing by the wall - not leaning against it, but just standing, as if he's not sure where to go next. No. There is no confusion in his face. In fact, there's very little expression at all. L studies him, curious as to what he's thinking (and noticing that that too may be a form of time-wasting, and wondering why he seems so keen to waste time when it's not unlikely he could be killed within a year).
The boy notices his gaze, stares back. He doesn't speak. His hair is long, but slicked-back, a little like a delinquent's would be, but he is dressed neatly, nondescript - not dissimilar to the way Raito dresses.
L cannot figure him out.
"Why did you leave?" he asks.
The boy does not shrug, or smile, or even turn away. He simply answers. "I read around this topic last week. I realised that the lecturer was simply reiterating the basics. And so I felt it was not worth my while to stay."
"That's very keen. You are a first-year, I believe?"
"Yes. Are you?"
L nods.
"Why did you leave?" the boy says at last. His voice is flat.
"Similar reasons. I too have already studied what we were being told."
"I haven't seen you in class much," the boy says.
"No. I don't attend much." If you were putting on an act, why would that act involve so much nothing? Raito's act is full of politeness and careful amusement and friendly interest. Even if he turns out not to be Kira, L will still be interested to see what's behind the facade. This boy - it is as if someone else took his personality.
The boy's gaze flicks over L's jeans, untucked shirt and untied shoelaces, over his hair and his shadowed eyes, and then he says, "Do you not attend because you are too busy sleeping?"
L allows himself to smile. "I don't sleep very much."
"Neither do I."
"What do you do instead?"
The boy's face almost twitches.
"Nothing much," he says. "There isn't much to do, here."
L takes a step or two closer. The floor squeaks on the soles of his shoes. Around them, the lobby is silent except for the faint hum of the lecturer's voice, rising and falling. Raito will be still be listening. Raito would never walk out of a lecture. Would he? L wonders why he is suddenly so unsure of all his deductions. Doubt is usually fatal, in the end. (And why is the idea of fatality not more perturbing?)
(Well. His motivation for solving the Kira case is not fear of death.)
The boy stares at him.
"I was under the impression that university was supposed to be fun," L says, tilting his head a little. The boy's expression is still cold, the eyes smooth and flat like the surface of pebbles.
"There is no challenge here."
"No. There isn't." That isn't true. There are many challenges - most of them social - but L is not interested in them. For him, this is only temporary, after all. (This apathy, this waiting for Kira to make the next move. Perhaps he is just being greedy. Perhaps he wants the game to move faster.)
(Perhaps.)
The boy leans forward - a quick, ruthless movement - and kisses him.
(Perhaps he wants -)
A dry, strong mouth, the lips remaining closed. Both of them still have their eyes open, as well. (A mimic, perhaps. Students are supposed to ease boredom (and loneliness?) by kissing. L does not feel as if anything has been eased by this. He suspects the same holds true for his opponent.)
(What does boredom make Raito do? Who does he kiss?)
L blinks. He is wasting this opportunity. He does not get the chance to kiss, usually. This is research - and he lets his mouth fall open a little, to see what the boy will do. For a moment there is stillness, then the boy kisses him back - an odd, awkward movement that doesn't match the way he stands, talks, stares - one hand reaches up, clutches L's shoulder, hard enough to be painful. The kiss is damper now, and not particularly comfortable, and yet L can feel his body responding to it, even as he muses on the irritation of trying to breathe through his nose and the mild unpleasantness of so much spit. It is odd that one's system would be hard-wired to respond to something as pointless as this.
The kiss stops. The boy is still gripping L's shoulder. For a moment they simply stare at each other.
(L does not normally find touching other people a necessary or important part of life. The fact that he very much wants to kiss this boy again is just another thing in a list of his behaviours that he finds odd.)
"After all," he says, "there really isn't much else to do."
"The lecture will end soon. We should go."
L does not want Raito to see him doing this. Whether this is because it might give Kira some kind of advantage, or another reason, he isn't sure.
"Where should we go?" he asks.
"I do not live with anyone else. We could go there."
L nods, follows him towards the glass doors. He is doing this because - he cannot explain it, but it is somehow tangled up with watching Raito from the back of the lecture hall. He wonders why his partner is doing this. Perhaps there is no reason at all.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-03-06 12:06 am (UTC):O
no subject
Date: 2008-03-06 07:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-07 01:40 am (UTC)It's mostly the way these two characters, neither of whom has any real social skills, end up interacting in this way and... yeah. Makeout time >:D
Srsly, they're both kinda sociopathic in different ways. Can't have been easy to write :O
no subject
Date: 2008-03-07 12:43 pm (UTC)I never find writing L easy. He's so weird I'm always worried I'm writing him as weird in the wrong way. But thanks for elaborating!
no subject
Date: 2008-03-06 03:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-06 07:19 pm (UTC)As I said above, is that ':O' in a good way or a bad way? (Come on, Kazuo kissed Raito so Kazuo had to kiss L! It's like a law of physics or something!)
no subject
Date: 2008-03-07 12:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-07 12:42 pm (UTC)Kazuo/Light is creepier, for me anyway XD
no subject
Date: 2008-03-26 04:43 pm (UTC)(Yes! I am finally getting 'round to doing these! Sorry for the wait XD; )
no subject
Date: 2008-03-26 07:11 pm (UTC)And thanks! (And no worries, anything you manage to say makes me happy *does happy comments dance*)