Fanfiction on Elm Street
Mar. 20th, 2008 10:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tallulahgsWritten for and crossposted to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
40fandoms.
[Title] Success
[Fandom] KareKano (His and Her Circumstances)/Battle Royale
[Rating] PG
[Notes/Summary] Yukino Miyazawa has always been perfect... but how will she cope when tragedy strikes?
Another morning at school and, as usual, everyone is talking to me.
"Miyazawa, can..."
"Miyazawa, I..."
"Miyazawa, are you...?"
Everyone is focusing on me, and isn't that what I love? Isn't that my reason for being? What does it matter if they're saying slightly different things from normal?
"Miyazawa, can I do anything to help?"
"Miyazawa, I heard about what happened..."
"Miyazawa, are you all right?"
Of course I'm all right! I'm always all right, and I raise my head and I smile prettily and I say, "Thank you so much, everyone. But I'm fine."
But for the first time ever that's the wrong thing to do. There are other people who had brothers and sisters in that ninth grade, and their reddened eyes narrow, and I hear them say that I'm cold, that I'm showing off, that...
I'm fake.
But I'm not, not today. Oh, normally the real me would be terrified they'd figure her out, and would be sneering or vowing revenge or pacing the halls of my mind. But the real me isn't here right now. I don't know why. (Maybe she's back home listening to Mum cry and the blare of the TV that Dad refuses to turn off and Kano's nervous footsteps as she creeps from room to room trying to be brave.)
The real me is there, and I'm here, and all I can do is be perfect.
Arima watches me all day. I know he'll be angry, say I'm pretending again after we promised not to. He won't know there's no one else here...
But after school he catches up with me and he isn't angry at all.
"Miyazawa... I'm so sorry."
And I don't know what to say.
"You don't have to pretend it's all right," he says at last, but warily, as if he's not sure that that's what I'm actually doing.
At least I speak.
"I..."
I speak and then I don't know how to continue. What use is the perfect me for this conversation, when Arima wants flaws and fury? And he stares and then suddenly the real Yukino Miyazawa rushes back, pushes me away and I step off to the side and watch her sobbing. She's so angry. She actually stamps her foot, and I want to pretend it's not me, but it is -
"It should have been me! It should have been me!"
And my face is red and my nose is running and my hair is falling out of its clips and Arima doesn't seem to care, he just puts his arms round me (oh) and says, "Why?"
"Because I could have survived! I'm, I'm selfish, and greedy, and competitive, and I'm so good at pretending and lying and getting other people to trust me. And I can run fast and I'll always want to win and I could have won! Even if I hadn't I could have survived!"
Arima frowns.
"Tsukino won't," I gulp. "Even if she wins she won't survive. She won't come back."
I feel him understand.
And still he just holds me. He doesn't ask if I would have killed him or say anything else stupid. And for a few moments I pretend that it's only use, that there's nothing more important to cry about than whether he likes me or not, and I look up at the sky, and I wonder if from above we look enough like two paper-perfect students that maybe all the crying isn't real at all.
[Title] Footsteps
[Fandom] KareKano (His and Her Circumstances)
[Rating] G
[Notes/Summary] Tsukino is worried, and talks to Kano. (Not intended to link to the other, but goes with it quite well anyway...)
"What are you doing?" Kano said, stopping as she saw Tsukino perched at the bottom of the stairs. "You've been sitting here all morning."
Tsukino shrugged. "I was thinking."
"You have a bed. We have a bathroom. Huh, you could even have gone for a walk. Whereas here, you -" Both girls got to their feet as their mother hurried past them with a basket of washing. "Whereas here, you keep getting people treading on you."
"I... kind of like being interrupted."
"You're almost as weird as Yukino sometimes."
Tsukino's mouth crumpled, and she buried her face in her knees. Kano patted her on the back a little, then said, "Okay. So what is it? Are you scared about moving up to high school?"
Tsukino sat bolt upright. "Have you been reading my diary?"
"No. I'm just very good at working out why my sisters are acting crazy." Kano preened. "You know, you don't have to go to the same school as her."
"Oh, please. You know -" They both stood up again as their father sauntered down the stairs, frowning over the sudoku in his newspaper.
"You've got two threes in the top line," Kano called after him.
"You know Mum and Dad can't afford to send us anywhere else," Tsukino hissed under the cover of their father's yell of frustration. "And besides, I like that school. I just... you know what it'll be like. Everyone will expect us to be as perfect as her."
"No, they won't."
"Why not?"
"If we were, we'd be a whole family of talented, clever, charming, pretty individuals, and that would just be creepy. They'll accept Yukino as an anomaly. A freak of nature. Which -"
Two shoes flew past them to hit the floor by Tsukino's feet, and they looked up to see Yukino leaning over the banister, her hair unbrushed, her sleepy eyes peering through her glasses. "Put those in the cupboard, would you, Kano?" she yawned.
"You couldn't come down and do it yourself?"
"I was up all night studying. Lazy eighth-graders like you don't know what it's like," Yukino proclaimed, before disappearing back into her bedroom.
"Which she is," Kano finished. "Come on. Even if people do go oh, why aren't you like your sister?, you'll know what it really means to be like Yukino, and be glad you're not."
Tsukino smiled a little.
"How come you're so smart?" she said. "You're the anomaly."
"I was born this way. I don't have to work at it, unlike a certain older sister we know and... well, kind of love. C'mon. Let's go down to the pet shop or something."
40fandoms.[Title] Success
[Fandom] KareKano (His and Her Circumstances)/Battle Royale
[Rating] PG
[Notes/Summary] Yukino Miyazawa has always been perfect... but how will she cope when tragedy strikes?
Another morning at school and, as usual, everyone is talking to me.
"Miyazawa, can..."
"Miyazawa, I..."
"Miyazawa, are you...?"
Everyone is focusing on me, and isn't that what I love? Isn't that my reason for being? What does it matter if they're saying slightly different things from normal?
"Miyazawa, can I do anything to help?"
"Miyazawa, I heard about what happened..."
"Miyazawa, are you all right?"
Of course I'm all right! I'm always all right, and I raise my head and I smile prettily and I say, "Thank you so much, everyone. But I'm fine."
But for the first time ever that's the wrong thing to do. There are other people who had brothers and sisters in that ninth grade, and their reddened eyes narrow, and I hear them say that I'm cold, that I'm showing off, that...
I'm fake.
But I'm not, not today. Oh, normally the real me would be terrified they'd figure her out, and would be sneering or vowing revenge or pacing the halls of my mind. But the real me isn't here right now. I don't know why. (Maybe she's back home listening to Mum cry and the blare of the TV that Dad refuses to turn off and Kano's nervous footsteps as she creeps from room to room trying to be brave.)
The real me is there, and I'm here, and all I can do is be perfect.
Arima watches me all day. I know he'll be angry, say I'm pretending again after we promised not to. He won't know there's no one else here...
But after school he catches up with me and he isn't angry at all.
"Miyazawa... I'm so sorry."
And I don't know what to say.
"You don't have to pretend it's all right," he says at last, but warily, as if he's not sure that that's what I'm actually doing.
At least I speak.
"I..."
I speak and then I don't know how to continue. What use is the perfect me for this conversation, when Arima wants flaws and fury? And he stares and then suddenly the real Yukino Miyazawa rushes back, pushes me away and I step off to the side and watch her sobbing. She's so angry. She actually stamps her foot, and I want to pretend it's not me, but it is -
"It should have been me! It should have been me!"
And my face is red and my nose is running and my hair is falling out of its clips and Arima doesn't seem to care, he just puts his arms round me (oh) and says, "Why?"
"Because I could have survived! I'm, I'm selfish, and greedy, and competitive, and I'm so good at pretending and lying and getting other people to trust me. And I can run fast and I'll always want to win and I could have won! Even if I hadn't I could have survived!"
Arima frowns.
"Tsukino won't," I gulp. "Even if she wins she won't survive. She won't come back."
I feel him understand.
And still he just holds me. He doesn't ask if I would have killed him or say anything else stupid. And for a few moments I pretend that it's only use, that there's nothing more important to cry about than whether he likes me or not, and I look up at the sky, and I wonder if from above we look enough like two paper-perfect students that maybe all the crying isn't real at all.
[Title] Footsteps
[Fandom] KareKano (His and Her Circumstances)
[Rating] G
[Notes/Summary] Tsukino is worried, and talks to Kano. (Not intended to link to the other, but goes with it quite well anyway...)
"What are you doing?" Kano said, stopping as she saw Tsukino perched at the bottom of the stairs. "You've been sitting here all morning."
Tsukino shrugged. "I was thinking."
"You have a bed. We have a bathroom. Huh, you could even have gone for a walk. Whereas here, you -" Both girls got to their feet as their mother hurried past them with a basket of washing. "Whereas here, you keep getting people treading on you."
"I... kind of like being interrupted."
"You're almost as weird as Yukino sometimes."
Tsukino's mouth crumpled, and she buried her face in her knees. Kano patted her on the back a little, then said, "Okay. So what is it? Are you scared about moving up to high school?"
Tsukino sat bolt upright. "Have you been reading my diary?"
"No. I'm just very good at working out why my sisters are acting crazy." Kano preened. "You know, you don't have to go to the same school as her."
"Oh, please. You know -" They both stood up again as their father sauntered down the stairs, frowning over the sudoku in his newspaper.
"You've got two threes in the top line," Kano called after him.
"You know Mum and Dad can't afford to send us anywhere else," Tsukino hissed under the cover of their father's yell of frustration. "And besides, I like that school. I just... you know what it'll be like. Everyone will expect us to be as perfect as her."
"No, they won't."
"Why not?"
"If we were, we'd be a whole family of talented, clever, charming, pretty individuals, and that would just be creepy. They'll accept Yukino as an anomaly. A freak of nature. Which -"
Two shoes flew past them to hit the floor by Tsukino's feet, and they looked up to see Yukino leaning over the banister, her hair unbrushed, her sleepy eyes peering through her glasses. "Put those in the cupboard, would you, Kano?" she yawned.
"You couldn't come down and do it yourself?"
"I was up all night studying. Lazy eighth-graders like you don't know what it's like," Yukino proclaimed, before disappearing back into her bedroom.
"Which she is," Kano finished. "Come on. Even if people do go oh, why aren't you like your sister?, you'll know what it really means to be like Yukino, and be glad you're not."
Tsukino smiled a little.
"How come you're so smart?" she said. "You're the anomaly."
"I was born this way. I don't have to work at it, unlike a certain older sister we know and... well, kind of love. C'mon. Let's go down to the pet shop or something."
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