Fanfiction
May. 29th, 2008 09:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tallulahgs[Title] Honesty
[Fandom] Death Note
[Rating] G
[Characters] Matsuda, Sayu. Maybe slight implied Matsuda/Sayu.
[Warnings] Slight spoilers for the end of the series?
[Word Count] 743
[Notes/Summary] Set post-series. Matsuda and Sayu drink tea and talk. Written for and crossposted to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
dn_contest, prompt "the dead watch over the living".
"Let me get you some tea."
Matsuda leant back against the couch, and watched Sayu walk over to the kitchen. She walked as if she were in a strange place, as if she didn't know where anything was, but she was walking, and as she switched the kettle on and searched for cups her hands only shook a little. He glanced away, down at his own hands. It's no fun when everyone's watching and waiting for you to make a mistake.
"Your mother's out?"
"She's at the shops," Sayu said after a few moments.
"She knows - she knew I was coming, right? I mean she..." Matsuda felt himself blush, saw his hands twist round each other. But Sayu laughed, and that made it all right. "Of course she does. She..." Her voice trailed off too, but when Matsuda looked round she was pouring the tea and she was smiling again, so he figured she'd just lost her grip on the sentence for a moment.
She placed the teacups carefully on the table and then she was sitting next to him, swinging her feet against the side of the couch.
"How are you?" he asked. "Is... is stuff all right?"
"It's..."
She stared at the empty seats around them, and the smile slid off her face and, like he always did, Matsuda found himself interrupting and talking about something completely pointless - this time about how quickly tea gets cold - and by the time he'd finished, she had her expression back.
"The tutor's really nice," she said. "It's good to study again." Then she laughed. "Oh... that sounds like something he would say. Don't you think?"
Matsuda sipped tea and made himself nod. He could hear, from the kitchen, a tap dripping, each splash slightly slower than a heartbeat.
Sayu looked at him and, after a few seconds, she said, haltingly, "The doctor said not to feel bad talking about him."
Matsuda wished that just for once his feelings would stop showing up on his face so clearly. "It's okay. I'm fine about you - yeah, I mean he was your brother, he... you must miss him, and..."
"I... I suppose," Sayu said. "But... he was always so busy. So it's... I can pretend he's not dead. Or that I could call him, if I wanted. I've still got his number in my phone."
She looked at him again. The shadows under her eyes were grey-pink, and her eyes and hair were far darker than her brother's had been.
"Do you miss him too?" she said. "You saw... you saw..." And then she was shaking, and tea - cool, luckily - was spilling over her fingers, and Matsuda took the cup from her and said, "Yeah, but..." And then he didn't know what else to say. He didn't like not being honest, but it wasn't as if he had much choice now.
"Are you all right?" he said, again, because that was the only line he was sure was correct. "You're not too tired?"
She shook her head. "I'm much better these days. Matsuda-san... you must have seen lots of people die."
"Not... lots," Matsuda said at last, his own voice sounding like it was coming from somewhere else, like he was watching this on TV. The tap kept dripping and he wished he could get up and turn it off. "But... yeah. Some."
"That must... make it different."
"Different... different now?"
"It must be... easier to believe," Sayu said. "That they're really gone. I saw... when they - but that was different, I didn't know those people. But with him..."
Her mouth turned down suddenly, as if she were about to cry.
"I hate believing stupid stuff that he watches over me or something," she said.
"But... do you believe it?"
She didn't answer. He didn't stay long after that.
Outside the sun was shining, old gold light, and the air was still. He walked slowly, and wondered why he kept coming to see her. She was always honest, and he never could be.
When he was away from the house, he could believe that the dead didn't watch, but when he was with Sayu, he knew it was her belief which mattered. And why wouldn't she want the house to be less empty?
[Fandom] Death Note
[Rating] G
[Characters] Matsuda, Sayu. Maybe slight implied Matsuda/Sayu.
[Warnings] Slight spoilers for the end of the series?
[Word Count] 743
[Notes/Summary] Set post-series. Matsuda and Sayu drink tea and talk. Written for and crossposted to
dn_contest, prompt "the dead watch over the living"."Let me get you some tea."
Matsuda leant back against the couch, and watched Sayu walk over to the kitchen. She walked as if she were in a strange place, as if she didn't know where anything was, but she was walking, and as she switched the kettle on and searched for cups her hands only shook a little. He glanced away, down at his own hands. It's no fun when everyone's watching and waiting for you to make a mistake.
"Your mother's out?"
"She's at the shops," Sayu said after a few moments.
"She knows - she knew I was coming, right? I mean she..." Matsuda felt himself blush, saw his hands twist round each other. But Sayu laughed, and that made it all right. "Of course she does. She..." Her voice trailed off too, but when Matsuda looked round she was pouring the tea and she was smiling again, so he figured she'd just lost her grip on the sentence for a moment.
She placed the teacups carefully on the table and then she was sitting next to him, swinging her feet against the side of the couch.
"How are you?" he asked. "Is... is stuff all right?"
"It's..."
She stared at the empty seats around them, and the smile slid off her face and, like he always did, Matsuda found himself interrupting and talking about something completely pointless - this time about how quickly tea gets cold - and by the time he'd finished, she had her expression back.
"The tutor's really nice," she said. "It's good to study again." Then she laughed. "Oh... that sounds like something he would say. Don't you think?"
Matsuda sipped tea and made himself nod. He could hear, from the kitchen, a tap dripping, each splash slightly slower than a heartbeat.
Sayu looked at him and, after a few seconds, she said, haltingly, "The doctor said not to feel bad talking about him."
Matsuda wished that just for once his feelings would stop showing up on his face so clearly. "It's okay. I'm fine about you - yeah, I mean he was your brother, he... you must miss him, and..."
"I... I suppose," Sayu said. "But... he was always so busy. So it's... I can pretend he's not dead. Or that I could call him, if I wanted. I've still got his number in my phone."
She looked at him again. The shadows under her eyes were grey-pink, and her eyes and hair were far darker than her brother's had been.
"Do you miss him too?" she said. "You saw... you saw..." And then she was shaking, and tea - cool, luckily - was spilling over her fingers, and Matsuda took the cup from her and said, "Yeah, but..." And then he didn't know what else to say. He didn't like not being honest, but it wasn't as if he had much choice now.
"Are you all right?" he said, again, because that was the only line he was sure was correct. "You're not too tired?"
She shook her head. "I'm much better these days. Matsuda-san... you must have seen lots of people die."
"Not... lots," Matsuda said at last, his own voice sounding like it was coming from somewhere else, like he was watching this on TV. The tap kept dripping and he wished he could get up and turn it off. "But... yeah. Some."
"That must... make it different."
"Different... different now?"
"It must be... easier to believe," Sayu said. "That they're really gone. I saw... when they - but that was different, I didn't know those people. But with him..."
Her mouth turned down suddenly, as if she were about to cry.
"I hate believing stupid stuff that he watches over me or something," she said.
"But... do you believe it?"
She didn't answer. He didn't stay long after that.
Outside the sun was shining, old gold light, and the air was still. He walked slowly, and wondered why he kept coming to see her. She was always honest, and he never could be.
When he was away from the house, he could believe that the dead didn't watch, but when he was with Sayu, he knew it was her belief which mattered. And why wouldn't she want the house to be less empty?
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no subject
Date: 2008-05-29 09:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-29 09:20 pm (UTC)*puts comment in the right place now*
>_>
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Date: 2008-05-30 12:30 pm (UTC)Thanks very much for commenting! It was much appreciated!