Death Note fanfiction
Dec. 30th, 2008 08:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tallulahgsOn the fifth day of Christmas, my true love (who knows me better than I would like) gave to me
Five character deaths
[Title] Becoming The Losing Side
[Fandom] Death Note
[Rating] PG-13 for language and character death
[Notes/Summary] AU. If Raito gets his new world, what will that mean for the losers?
#2 has some slight Misa/Mogi, but nothing explicit.
It's the last night of their lives, and none of them particularly want to be on their own. At least, that's how the SPK are feeling. None of them can work out whether Near shares the sentiment, but he's still here, sitting on the floor lining up the Lego figures - first in parallel rows, then in squares, pentagons, hexagons, and finally in one big circle.
They pretend to be working but there isn't anything left to prepare, because they've done all they can. And eventually they all fall silent and they're just thinking that perhaps they will have to be alone after all when Near suddenly sweeps all the figures off their feet and out of his viewpoint, and reaches for his toy robots instead.
No doubt it reflects poorly on me that I haven't seen more of Japan, he says, but I have been busy. Still, I think I won't be sorry to leave it.
Hal wants to ask him if he misses England, but she doesn't quite know if she wants to have that sort of conversation with him, so she says instead, No. It's been an odd case. She wonders if she'll still think of Mello, after it's all over.
Gevanni laughs and says that it'll be nice not having to shadow someone for a bit.
That is your job, says Rester.
Yeah, but I'm better at doing it when I'm not a gaijin who keeps forgetting which side of the road they drive on here.
Huh. I'm just hoping it'll be a long time before I have to deal with jet lag again, and Rester glances at Near, but without resentment, and Near simply continues to study the robots. Nobody mentions returning to America.
Their deaths are a couple of seconds apart, because even in the depths of his devotion Mikami is wary of the Western letters and determined not to ruin God's plan with a simple spelling mistake. And so when Near curls up, choking and digging his fingers into his knees and sending the model figures in front of him scattering, the other three have time to notice, and realise.
Near gets to glance up at Raito Yagami and see him smile, and, like his predecessor, consoles himself with the knowledge that he was right. (but...) Rester is hurrying towards Near but his own death hits him before he gets there and all he gets to think is that it's not fair, that he wanted a chance to fight back (at least take the bastard down with him for -) Gevanni is reaching for his gun but he feels his fingers tighten on it without his say-so and he wants to think something ironic, like I wouldn't have bothered being so careful about replacing those pages if I'd known we were going to lose, but all he can think is that he's scared and he doesn't want to die. And Hal, who's had the time to realise fully what's about to happen, forces herself not to think of her family or of dying in a strange place or of how it will hurt, but keeps her thoughts on Mello, because he was never scared and he had to face this too and they made it a game that he could never faze her.
And then it's over.
Kanzo Mogi spends the last night of his life playing Go with Misa. He's never been a particularly good player, but that's probably helpful in this situation, because Misa has hardly played at all before now (my dad taught me, but I forgot, and that was years ago anyway) and she hates losing - or rather, she yells and knocks the board over and pouts but then she scurries round on the floor picking the counters up (all right, Mochi, we'll carry on playing this stupid game, but this time Misa's going to win!)
He doesn't know whether to let her win or not, but in the end it doesn't matter, because she beats him completely legitimately, and then punches the air and shouts I did it! Then she gives him a sideways glance, like she expects him to get angry in his turn and storm off or refuse to play.
(He wonders if Raito did that, and then is ashamed of himself for being so petty.)
He finds himself smiling at her and she grins back, amused at herself, and then says, Misa didn't think being kidnapped would be fun like this.
He laughs, and says, Do you want another game?
Ohhh, no. Misa's not going to fall for it again. She flops down, lying on her stomach on the sofa, kicking her legs in the air. Misa would rather talk.
Mikami doesn't have to struggle with writing the names of the task force and so they only have the ten seconds or so it takes for the SPK to die before their own deaths reach them almost all together.
Mogi finds himself on his knees without remembering how he got there and then the pain is spreading like ink down through his chest and into his arms and his thoughts are hardly thoughts at all in the face of that and can't feel the floor and should've said goodbye properly and for god's sake why didn't it work what the hell did they do wrong? and just sorry, just sorry it didn't work out and then Misa, no, just Misa, as long as he can feel something he's not dead, but - but -
It's over before he realises.
Touta Matsuda spends the last night of his life the way he spends most nights; he gets in late, and he's been eating meals at odd times so now he isn't that hungry and he just makes himself a sandwich, and then he watches TV for a bit - it's some stupid game show, so he doesn't watch for long - and then he takes himself off to bed and he doesn't want to sleep yet because he's too excited about tomorrow. 'Cause okay, Raito said he thought it wouldn't help the case, but what if it did? What if it totally cracked it and this time tomorrow they all know who Kira is?
Maybe he'll get to do something cool or maybe he'll help figure it out at the last second or something. But even if he doesn't, it doesn't matter, because he's part of the team and he's one of the people who's going to get important evidence shown to him and he never gave up, the whole way through, and now it's going to be the payoff.
He doesn't sleep well, in the end, because as he dozes his thoughts stop being excited and start just being jumpy. That perhaps. Perhaps he won't, perhaps he'll do it all wrong instead. Or perhaps like in America, they thought they were going to be all competent and then it, and the Chief died and Matsuda doesn't want to have to see something as bad as that ever again. Or perhaps. Perhaps. He dreams the last one even if he can't spell it out (because Ukita never expected to die either, did he?)
He's got his eyes shut and his sweating hands gripping his head because he doesn't think he's ever been this scared and he doesn't want the others to see that he is and so at first he misses it, he thinks it's all right. Look, it's all right, we're not -
Then he hears someone groan and then something kicks him in the chest and he opens his eyes in shock expecting to see that someone's attacked him (stupid, not like he didn't know it would be a heart attack) and -
- the SPK and Near are lying there and they're not moving and then even as Matsuda watches, Mogi, who has dropped to his knees, slumps to the ground as well and Matsuda wants to run over and do something, make it stop, save them, but suddenly his legs aren't strong enough to hold him up and no, no, it can't -
He's collapsed now, the ground is cold on his side - no, he's cold, all of him, and - out of the corner of his eye he sees Ide and then Aizawa fall too and they're all screwing up, it isn't just him, but -
No. Next to him Raito is still standing, tall and strong and perfect like he always is and Matsuda tries to call out to him, do something, you're gonna be okay 'cause Kira can't kill you, do something, make it stop -
He can't say it, he thinks he just whimpers or chokes or something, and he sort of reaches out, brushes Raito's foot, and Raito looks round at him.
And smiles.
It hurts too much and it's going too dark and Matsuda's too scared and all these almost mean that he doesn't understand the significance of the smile.
Almost. But not quite. Because he realises that now it really is over.
Hideki Ide isn't sure how to spend the last night of his life. He's trying to argue that it's just the same as any other night and there's no need to be worried, but he keeps thinking about how stressed and wary Aizawa's been looking and he ought to know by now that Aizawa doesn't panic unnecessarily.
In the end he does what he'd sort of promised to himself he wouldn't, and calls. It's Aizawa's wife who answers, and he assures her nothing's wrong, he won't keep her husband for more than a few minutes, and he's sorry to disturb them, all as if he knows that this could be their family's last evening together.
When Aizawa answers the phone Ide abandons politeness and says, did Near tell you anything more than the rest of us about what's going to happen tomorrow?
No.
Ide wants to say so is that why you're worried, because you don't know what's going on and you don't like it? but he realises he can't quite get the words out. Perhaps he is more uneasy than he thought.
There's no point in thinking about it any more now, Aizawa says, roughly. We've all done all we can. I wish - He stops, and then carries on, we knew it'd come down to this in the end.
What? Kira versus L's successor?
At last, Aizawa says, Yeah. That. Look, I should go. Eriko's nearly finished making dinner.
Ide says bye and hangs up and stares at the silent phone and then crosses to the window and wishes that if there is something else going on his friend would actually tell him.
He hears Matsuda cry out and then he opens his eyes to see the man collapse, die right next to him, and he's run out of time, there's nothing he can do except be furious with Near for fucking up and Aizawa for keeping this from him and Raito for winning in the end after all -
He doesn't want to die. He does not want to die and god the pain hits and it's like something sitting on, in his chest, and through the roar of blood he grips on to the anger because then you don't have to think, stupid arrogant kid and that bastard putting our lives on the line and why did I come back I should've told them to - I should've - damn Aizawa always letting him lead me into stupid ideas and he closes his eyes again because he has heard enough to tell Aizawa is dying, inches away from him, and he doesn't want to see that, he doesn't want to know, and so he concentrates all the fury onto his friend and by the time he thinks he can't any more he finds it's over anyway.
Shuichi Aizawa is not going to tell his wife and children it could be the last night of his life. So far, he has kept it from them - more or less - that he could be in danger of being murdered any day, and he doesn't intend to let that change. Instead, he gets home early enough to kiss Youko goodnight and he asks Yumi how school's going and when the next test is and wishes her luck and he compliments Eriko on her cooking and offers to do the washing up and it's only after the girls have gone to bed that she asks him is everything all right?
What do you mean?
You seem... worried.
Part of him wants to tell her; part of him is sick of not being able to admit to anyone how fucking scared he is about tomorrow and sick of watching other people (all right, Matsuda) act as if it's just going to be a fun trip out. But then he'd just be scaring her in order to make himself feel better and so he only shrugs, says that work is difficult right now.
She lets it go. She lets it go until they're in bed and then she says can I help?
Probably not.
A sigh. I didn't think so. But...
Listen, he says, don't - and he does mean to say something like don't let it bother you if I die, something as pointless as that, but he can't, can he, and so in the end he just rolls over, puts his arms round her, and says, this time tomorrow it'll all be over.
They are all dying around him and he should've seen this coming and - done something, somehow, stopped it, and he didn't, and now -
And then it hits him and only Raito is left standing now as he falls but he won't close his eyes, won't, and he looks up at him and in his head he is screaming I'll make you pay for this you bastard I swear I'll make you pay even though he knows it's the most futile thing he could think. Raito has been looking down at Matsuda but now he turns his head sightly, meets Aizawa's gaze. A faint smile.
The pain is throwing itself about inside his ribcage and the air is silent now except for his own breathing scrabbling to get a grip and somehow he's not looking at Raito now, he's looking at Ide, who's slumped on the ground, eyes shut, face already looking like there's no one behind it -
I guess you can blame me for this one
Better to blame and hate and swear vengeance than think that Eriko will believe he lied to her and remember that he's leaving her to break the news to the girls that he's dead. Or to realise that after all that struggle, after five fucking years, all he's got is the satisfaction of knowing Kira's face as he's killed by him.
One final twist, and then it's over.
Five character deaths
[Title] Becoming The Losing Side
[Fandom] Death Note
[Rating] PG-13 for language and character death
[Notes/Summary] AU. If Raito gets his new world, what will that mean for the losers?
#2 has some slight Misa/Mogi, but nothing explicit.
It's the last night of their lives, and none of them particularly want to be on their own. At least, that's how the SPK are feeling. None of them can work out whether Near shares the sentiment, but he's still here, sitting on the floor lining up the Lego figures - first in parallel rows, then in squares, pentagons, hexagons, and finally in one big circle.
They pretend to be working but there isn't anything left to prepare, because they've done all they can. And eventually they all fall silent and they're just thinking that perhaps they will have to be alone after all when Near suddenly sweeps all the figures off their feet and out of his viewpoint, and reaches for his toy robots instead.
No doubt it reflects poorly on me that I haven't seen more of Japan, he says, but I have been busy. Still, I think I won't be sorry to leave it.
Hal wants to ask him if he misses England, but she doesn't quite know if she wants to have that sort of conversation with him, so she says instead, No. It's been an odd case. She wonders if she'll still think of Mello, after it's all over.
Gevanni laughs and says that it'll be nice not having to shadow someone for a bit.
That is your job, says Rester.
Yeah, but I'm better at doing it when I'm not a gaijin who keeps forgetting which side of the road they drive on here.
Huh. I'm just hoping it'll be a long time before I have to deal with jet lag again, and Rester glances at Near, but without resentment, and Near simply continues to study the robots. Nobody mentions returning to America.
Their deaths are a couple of seconds apart, because even in the depths of his devotion Mikami is wary of the Western letters and determined not to ruin God's plan with a simple spelling mistake. And so when Near curls up, choking and digging his fingers into his knees and sending the model figures in front of him scattering, the other three have time to notice, and realise.
Near gets to glance up at Raito Yagami and see him smile, and, like his predecessor, consoles himself with the knowledge that he was right. (but...) Rester is hurrying towards Near but his own death hits him before he gets there and all he gets to think is that it's not fair, that he wanted a chance to fight back (at least take the bastard down with him for -) Gevanni is reaching for his gun but he feels his fingers tighten on it without his say-so and he wants to think something ironic, like I wouldn't have bothered being so careful about replacing those pages if I'd known we were going to lose, but all he can think is that he's scared and he doesn't want to die. And Hal, who's had the time to realise fully what's about to happen, forces herself not to think of her family or of dying in a strange place or of how it will hurt, but keeps her thoughts on Mello, because he was never scared and he had to face this too and they made it a game that he could never faze her.
And then it's over.
Kanzo Mogi spends the last night of his life playing Go with Misa. He's never been a particularly good player, but that's probably helpful in this situation, because Misa has hardly played at all before now (my dad taught me, but I forgot, and that was years ago anyway) and she hates losing - or rather, she yells and knocks the board over and pouts but then she scurries round on the floor picking the counters up (all right, Mochi, we'll carry on playing this stupid game, but this time Misa's going to win!)
He doesn't know whether to let her win or not, but in the end it doesn't matter, because she beats him completely legitimately, and then punches the air and shouts I did it! Then she gives him a sideways glance, like she expects him to get angry in his turn and storm off or refuse to play.
(He wonders if Raito did that, and then is ashamed of himself for being so petty.)
He finds himself smiling at her and she grins back, amused at herself, and then says, Misa didn't think being kidnapped would be fun like this.
He laughs, and says, Do you want another game?
Ohhh, no. Misa's not going to fall for it again. She flops down, lying on her stomach on the sofa, kicking her legs in the air. Misa would rather talk.
Mikami doesn't have to struggle with writing the names of the task force and so they only have the ten seconds or so it takes for the SPK to die before their own deaths reach them almost all together.
Mogi finds himself on his knees without remembering how he got there and then the pain is spreading like ink down through his chest and into his arms and his thoughts are hardly thoughts at all in the face of that and can't feel the floor and should've said goodbye properly and for god's sake why didn't it work what the hell did they do wrong? and just sorry, just sorry it didn't work out and then Misa, no, just Misa, as long as he can feel something he's not dead, but - but -
It's over before he realises.
Touta Matsuda spends the last night of his life the way he spends most nights; he gets in late, and he's been eating meals at odd times so now he isn't that hungry and he just makes himself a sandwich, and then he watches TV for a bit - it's some stupid game show, so he doesn't watch for long - and then he takes himself off to bed and he doesn't want to sleep yet because he's too excited about tomorrow. 'Cause okay, Raito said he thought it wouldn't help the case, but what if it did? What if it totally cracked it and this time tomorrow they all know who Kira is?
Maybe he'll get to do something cool or maybe he'll help figure it out at the last second or something. But even if he doesn't, it doesn't matter, because he's part of the team and he's one of the people who's going to get important evidence shown to him and he never gave up, the whole way through, and now it's going to be the payoff.
He doesn't sleep well, in the end, because as he dozes his thoughts stop being excited and start just being jumpy. That perhaps. Perhaps he won't, perhaps he'll do it all wrong instead. Or perhaps like in America, they thought they were going to be all competent and then it, and the Chief died and Matsuda doesn't want to have to see something as bad as that ever again. Or perhaps. Perhaps. He dreams the last one even if he can't spell it out (because Ukita never expected to die either, did he?)
He's got his eyes shut and his sweating hands gripping his head because he doesn't think he's ever been this scared and he doesn't want the others to see that he is and so at first he misses it, he thinks it's all right. Look, it's all right, we're not -
Then he hears someone groan and then something kicks him in the chest and he opens his eyes in shock expecting to see that someone's attacked him (stupid, not like he didn't know it would be a heart attack) and -
- the SPK and Near are lying there and they're not moving and then even as Matsuda watches, Mogi, who has dropped to his knees, slumps to the ground as well and Matsuda wants to run over and do something, make it stop, save them, but suddenly his legs aren't strong enough to hold him up and no, no, it can't -
He's collapsed now, the ground is cold on his side - no, he's cold, all of him, and - out of the corner of his eye he sees Ide and then Aizawa fall too and they're all screwing up, it isn't just him, but -
No. Next to him Raito is still standing, tall and strong and perfect like he always is and Matsuda tries to call out to him, do something, you're gonna be okay 'cause Kira can't kill you, do something, make it stop -
He can't say it, he thinks he just whimpers or chokes or something, and he sort of reaches out, brushes Raito's foot, and Raito looks round at him.
And smiles.
It hurts too much and it's going too dark and Matsuda's too scared and all these almost mean that he doesn't understand the significance of the smile.
Almost. But not quite. Because he realises that now it really is over.
Hideki Ide isn't sure how to spend the last night of his life. He's trying to argue that it's just the same as any other night and there's no need to be worried, but he keeps thinking about how stressed and wary Aizawa's been looking and he ought to know by now that Aizawa doesn't panic unnecessarily.
In the end he does what he'd sort of promised to himself he wouldn't, and calls. It's Aizawa's wife who answers, and he assures her nothing's wrong, he won't keep her husband for more than a few minutes, and he's sorry to disturb them, all as if he knows that this could be their family's last evening together.
When Aizawa answers the phone Ide abandons politeness and says, did Near tell you anything more than the rest of us about what's going to happen tomorrow?
No.
Ide wants to say so is that why you're worried, because you don't know what's going on and you don't like it? but he realises he can't quite get the words out. Perhaps he is more uneasy than he thought.
There's no point in thinking about it any more now, Aizawa says, roughly. We've all done all we can. I wish - He stops, and then carries on, we knew it'd come down to this in the end.
What? Kira versus L's successor?
At last, Aizawa says, Yeah. That. Look, I should go. Eriko's nearly finished making dinner.
Ide says bye and hangs up and stares at the silent phone and then crosses to the window and wishes that if there is something else going on his friend would actually tell him.
He hears Matsuda cry out and then he opens his eyes to see the man collapse, die right next to him, and he's run out of time, there's nothing he can do except be furious with Near for fucking up and Aizawa for keeping this from him and Raito for winning in the end after all -
He doesn't want to die. He does not want to die and god the pain hits and it's like something sitting on, in his chest, and through the roar of blood he grips on to the anger because then you don't have to think, stupid arrogant kid and that bastard putting our lives on the line and why did I come back I should've told them to - I should've - damn Aizawa always letting him lead me into stupid ideas and he closes his eyes again because he has heard enough to tell Aizawa is dying, inches away from him, and he doesn't want to see that, he doesn't want to know, and so he concentrates all the fury onto his friend and by the time he thinks he can't any more he finds it's over anyway.
Shuichi Aizawa is not going to tell his wife and children it could be the last night of his life. So far, he has kept it from them - more or less - that he could be in danger of being murdered any day, and he doesn't intend to let that change. Instead, he gets home early enough to kiss Youko goodnight and he asks Yumi how school's going and when the next test is and wishes her luck and he compliments Eriko on her cooking and offers to do the washing up and it's only after the girls have gone to bed that she asks him is everything all right?
What do you mean?
You seem... worried.
Part of him wants to tell her; part of him is sick of not being able to admit to anyone how fucking scared he is about tomorrow and sick of watching other people (all right, Matsuda) act as if it's just going to be a fun trip out. But then he'd just be scaring her in order to make himself feel better and so he only shrugs, says that work is difficult right now.
She lets it go. She lets it go until they're in bed and then she says can I help?
Probably not.
A sigh. I didn't think so. But...
Listen, he says, don't - and he does mean to say something like don't let it bother you if I die, something as pointless as that, but he can't, can he, and so in the end he just rolls over, puts his arms round her, and says, this time tomorrow it'll all be over.
They are all dying around him and he should've seen this coming and - done something, somehow, stopped it, and he didn't, and now -
And then it hits him and only Raito is left standing now as he falls but he won't close his eyes, won't, and he looks up at him and in his head he is screaming I'll make you pay for this you bastard I swear I'll make you pay even though he knows it's the most futile thing he could think. Raito has been looking down at Matsuda but now he turns his head sightly, meets Aizawa's gaze. A faint smile.
The pain is throwing itself about inside his ribcage and the air is silent now except for his own breathing scrabbling to get a grip and somehow he's not looking at Raito now, he's looking at Ide, who's slumped on the ground, eyes shut, face already looking like there's no one behind it -
I guess you can blame me for this one
Better to blame and hate and swear vengeance than think that Eriko will believe he lied to her and remember that he's leaving her to break the news to the girls that he's dead. Or to realise that after all that struggle, after five fucking years, all he's got is the satisfaction of knowing Kira's face as he's killed by him.
One final twist, and then it's over.
