Unpleasant Death Note fanfiction
Oct. 29th, 2008 09:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tallulahgs[Title] What It Takes to Survive
[Fandom] Death Note/Saw
[Rating] R
[Pairings/Characters] Matsuda and Ide, plus additional dialogue from Aizawa and Jigsaw >_>
[Warnings] Violence, somewhat unpleasant death traps, death
[Notes/Summary] Matsuda and Ide are fighting for their lives, but in the Jigsaw killer's sick mindset, is anything what it seems?
Written for and crossposted to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
dn_contest, prompt "Halloween".
Ide's annoyed to find his hands shaking as he puts the first cassette into the tape player. Under his palms the surface of the machine is slightly sticky, but the bare lightbulb hanging from the ceiling isn't bright enough to show exactly how dirty it is. Judging by the rest of the room, though, he probably doesn't want to handle it longer than necessary.
Next to him, Matsuda watches, arms wrapped round himself, air coming in clouds from his mouth. For once, he's quiet, and still except for his shivering and his quick glances round the room. Ide follows his stare for a second. The walls are coated with layers of mould and dirt and what could easily be blood, and it's freezing.
Ide has been thinking meat locker ever since he woke up here and got a proper look. He really, really wishes he wasn't.
And they don't have time to get distracted. He presses play.
"Hello, Ide-san."
The voice is rough and hoarse, just as it was on the tapes they've recovered from other crime scenes. (Which proves it, which proves they're -) Matsuda gulps, shudders, but he doesn't say anything, they just listen.
(He knew them, that was the horrible thing. He'd been watching them and they hadn't even been close to tracking him down.)
"I know you're not particularly good at recreation, but I want to play a game. You see, you no longer live, you simply exist. You hunt down those who have the strength to take what you wish you had, but instead of letting it motivate you, you've simply grown bitter and distrustful. Now, I want to see if you care about life outside of work after all. Can you reach past yourself, no matter how much it stings to admit you were wrong?
Live or die.
Make your choice."
The tape hisses to a stop.
"Oh god," Matsuda whispers at last, "oh god, oh god -"
"Shut up," Ide hears himself say, sounding as angry as if he knows exactly what to do, as if he has a hope in hell of surviving this, "for god's sake, panicking is not going to solve anything -"
"We're going to die!" Matsuda wails, "you saw what happened to all the others, we're going to die -"
Ide grabs him, shakes him (wants to punch him for giving in to terror this quickly) and Matsuda stops, swallowing.
"Sorry..." he mutters. "Just... just..."
"You know there's always a way out," Ide says, fiercely enough to convince himself as well as Matsuda, "there's always a way out, we just have to find it. But if we panic, we really will die."
"I... I know."
"Let's play the tape he gave you."
After a few moments, Matsuda hands over the tape.
"I know how to live," he whispers, his voice shaking. "I've got a life outside work. You know I have. It's not fair, I'm not supposed to be here -"
He stops as Ide puts the second tape into the cassette player, and shifts back a little.
When that voice says Hello, Matsuda-san, Matsuda closes his eyes and his clouded breath drifts even faster. Ide tries not to look at him, to focus on listening to the tape, but his mind keeps running around trying to pretend this isn't happening, that he's panicked after working so hard on the damn Jigsaw killer case and this is a dream, that something, and the spoken words can't get through the panic buzzing like static in his head.
"You don't take anything seriously. But you probably know that, don't you? Other people have told you enough times. Other people do a lot for you. They make the difficult choices for you. They help you choose a side. They assist you in pretending that sacrifices don't have to be made.
But there are always sacrifices, Matsuda-san. To win this game, you'll need to face the fact that one person living means another might have to die. Better reach deeper and see what you find, no matter how painful it may be.
Let the game begin."
The tape stops. Ide glances over at Matsuda, who's pressing his lips together, eyes big and terrified. After a few seconds he reaches out for the tape player, hand shaking, and then presses rewind.
don't take anything seriously. But you probably know that
"Come on," Ide says, "let's start - start thinking -"
you don't take anything seriously. But you
Matsuda snaps off the tape.
"I do..." He swallows. "I do take things seriously. I do, he - he doesn't know anything. Just because..."
Ide nearly says no, you don't, but he's damned if he's going to agree with a serial killer. And it's not like it'd be a helpful remark anyway.
Matsuda stares down at the cassette player again. His hands are shaking so much now that he struggles to press the buttons.
people do a lot for you. They make
Huh. It has to sting when you realise your colleagues, your superiors, your family and even the murderer you're supposed to be hunting down are all united in the belief that you're incompetent.
"Stop it," he says. "We don't have time to... besides, it's bullshit anyway."
Matsuda looks up at him.
"Yeah," he says at last. "Yeah. I mean, he said a load of stuff about you that - that isn't true either."
"Exactly."
(Jigsaw's crazy and the tape only proves it. Ide knows how to live, he's not like that guy who slit his wrists and ended up on the razor wire, he wants to live, and if he doesn't trust easily that's just a side-effect of being a cop, all right? Unless you're Matsuda, of course, who seems to have been born without cynicism -)
Matsuda hits fast forward now, and that voice rasps out again.
matter how painful it may be. Let the game begin
"Anyway, it doesn't matter what's true and what's not," Ide says. "Our priority's got to be surviving."
Matsuda nods, stares round the room.
"It doesn't look like - like there's anything set to - to explode or whatever in here," he says. "We could - we could just wait. I mean, the others will be looking for us, right? It's..." He glances at his watch, frowns. "Hey, do you think it's three a.m. or three p.m.?"
"If we wait," Ide says, "we could freeze to death before they find us. Or we'll wait, realise they don't know where we are, which I bet they don't, decide to - to fight our way out, and be weakened because we've been in here so long."
"But it'll - but he'll -"
"Don't think about it. Let's try and see what we have to do."
Matsuda gets up, hurries over to the door - still looking round warily every so often - and tries the handle. "It's - it's locked. Figures, huh?"
"Okay, so there's got to be a key somewhere around here."
"Two - two keys." Matsuda's teeth are chattering a little. "Two locks."
"Right. Let's -"
They both spot the metal tank in the corner at the same time.
"Be careful," Ide hisses as they walk over to it. His teeth are chattering as well now; the cold sticks in his chest. But in a way the temperature helps. Stops him thinking too much about all the crime scene photos he's studied for this case, at least. Bodies cut and burnt and mutilated, corpses missing teeth or fingers or limbs; shattered hands and feet, pulped skulls, empty eye sockets -
Plus it's so cold he can kid himself that's the only reason he's shaking.
The tank is about a foot high, and slightly less filthy than the wall behind it. Matsuda kneels down next to it, and his reflection, dead white, stares up at them. And there on the bottom, lying about a couple of feet away from each other, are the two keys.
"So we just have to reach into the water, right?" Matsuda glances round, warily. He's probably thinking about the photographs as well. "One key for each of us. You really think that's all it is?"
"On my tape," Ide says, slowly, "he said reach past yourself..."
"Yeah - and, and on mine he said something about reaching too, didn't he? That's got to be it. So let's just -"
"Do you really think he's going to ask us to do something that easy?" Ide hears his voice shaking, it's cold, that's all, teeth chattering, get a grip, for god's sake - "Take a proper look. I... I bet you it's not anything as harmless as water."
Matsuda leans a little closer, squints.
"I can't tell," he mutters. "Not in this light. It could be something different, it looks a bit of a weird colour, but..."
"Reach past yourself, no matter how much it stings..."
He expects Matsuda to freak out, to start yelling about how unfair it is, or just to refuse to do anything, demand to wait until someone else comes along to save them. But Matsuda doesn't. He just slumps a little, and then he whispers, "It isn't water, is it."
"You know how much the bastard loves his hints."
"What - what do you think it is?"
"I don't know. Acid, maybe? That'd look right."
Matsuda says, still very quietly, "So we have to -"
"Yes."
After another pause, Matsuda looks at him, swallows, hard. "N... now?"
"It's not going to turn into something else if we wait long enough." Ide feels like he really is dreaming, and, like you do in dreams, going along with total lunacy because it makes perfect sense at the time. They're going to plunge their hands into that damn tank and whatever that stuff is it's not going to be pleasant and yet, right now, right now he can't quite believe it, it won't really hurt, yeah, well, all the others probably couldn't quite believe it, could they? I'm not going to die here, you can survive if you - if you can just -
"Now," he says. "Otherwise we'll wimp out. Roll up your sleeve, we don't want to get that stuff on us more than we have to."
Matsuda, looking sick, nods, starts unbuttoning his shirt cuff, hand shaking. "We just reach in and snatch them out, yeah?"
"Yeah. One each." It occurs to Ide that in theory, one person could grab both keys, but there probably wouldn't be much left of their skin by the time they'd done it. He's certainly not volunteering. He's not that selfless. Damn it, he's not selfless at all. "Don't drop it once you've got hold of it, for heaven's sake. And don't let the stuff splash up into your face."
"I - I'll try."
"No, you won't let it. I doubt blinding yourself is going to make this any easier."
Matsuda takes a deep, shaking breath. He's got his left sleeve rolled up now; his hands are trembling. Ide starts to fumble with his own shirt cuff, his cold fingers hardly able to feel it. Get a fucking grip - Eventually - and Matsuda keeps staring at him, like he thinks Ide's trying to put it off or something - he's rolling up his sleeve, trying not to wince as the icy air hits bare skin. There's going to be worse pain to deal with in a few seconds.
Don't think about it.
"Ready?" he says.
Matsuda laughs, chokily. "No."
"Come on."
"We're... we're going to look like real idiots if it turns out to only be water."
"That's fine. Looking like an idiot's the least of my problems right now." Ide swallows. His throat keeps going dry. "All right. On three."
"Sure." Matsuda grips his left hand with the right for a second, then lets it go, taking a long, shaky breath. Ide rests his right hand on the edge of the tank; after a few seconds, Matsuda joins him, placing his left there.
"Don't you dare bail on me."
"I won't!" Matsuda actually sounds hurt, as if he can afford to worry about slurs on his character. "I promise. Get the key, get out..."
"Don't say nobody gets hurt."
Matsuda laughs again, a short, shaky laugh.
"Okay," Ide says. His throat is so dry he can hardly get the word out. "One."
The dim light glints on the surface of the liquid.
"Two."
Matsuda reaches out and grips Ide's left wrist, nails digging in, and Ide realises how much he's trembling.
"Three!"
And they both sink their hands down into the tank.
For one tiny moment Ide thinks it is water, got to be, it's just cool, it -
Then the pain starts.
He sees his hand, pale under the liquid and light, reaching for the key and he does feel the cold metal under his palm, under the the pain, he does but it's far away it's all too far away, and it hurts it fucking hurts and don't panic don't splash about and keep hold of the fucking key I mean it don't you let go don't you dare -
- and Matsuda is screaming -
- and Ide yanks his arm out of the liquid and the pain keeps crawling over his skin like ants, no, worse, like something's crushing his palm and Matsuda is still yelling but Ide can't turn his head to look at him, he's just staring at the key and, and he -
- can't think -
***
"Ide, wake up -"
cold
"- please -"
something - got my hand -
"Please?"
hurts
He opens his eyes, tries to sit up. For a moment the room splits into darkness again, but then he takes a gulp of chilly air and it slides back to its proper place.
The tapes and the keys and playing his damn game -
The keys...
His head aches, and his mouth tastes sickly, but that's nothing compared to his hand -
"Oh, god..."
"It's all right," Matsuda says, firmly. His eyes are wide, and the light glows in the sweat on his face. "It's - it's all right. You just blacked out. Because it - it hurt, but it's all right -"
"Didn't... I don't black out." Ide sits up, properly. His head lurches. "I was just..."
He looks down at his hand.
He half-expects to see bones, smoke curling up from the skin, something cartoon-horrible enough to match up with the grinding ache. Stupid, of course; he can't see much at all in the dim light. The skin's reddened, and, and too shiny, and when he tries to move his fingers it feels as if they've been coated with plaster or something and dear god it hurts -
"Yours... is yours the same?"
Matsuda nods. "But - but I got the key. I didn't drop it or anything, you were right! And yours is there, you didn't let it go under again, so... so we can get out of here."
"Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Come on." He scrambles to his feet, or tries to - the floor seems to tilt, and he drops back on to his knees, tasting nausea at the back of his throat. Too much spit in his mouth, and he swallows; he's not going to throw up in front of Matsuda.
"You want - you want to rest a little?" Matsuda says. "I mean, I know we have - we have to get moving, but... you kind of look dead. I mean - god - sorry -"
Ide hears himself laugh. "Forget it. The point is... is, we're not dead. Give me a minute, I'll... I'll be fine."
Matsuda nods, goes quiet. His breathing is still shaky, and every so often it threatens to turn into a yelp. Never actually makes it, though.
"You reckon it'll scar?" he says at last.
"What, our hands? Probably, at least a bit... Depends - depends how long it is before we... get them looked at." He suddenly wishes he hadn't said that. There's no guarantee that's the end of it, is there? All right, most of the victims only had to do one thing to survive, but they were on their own as well, and they weren't cops. He and Matsuda could both die here and their hands will never get a chance to heal and okay, it's dumb thinking like that, Matsuda's the one who's supposed to be giving up, he himself isn't going to, because he's going to survive this, he's going to survive -
"All right," he says. "Let's go."
"Are you sure you're okay? You still look kind of -"
"I'm fine." He sounds angrier than he meant to, and Matsuda goes silent, nods, stares at his feet.
It hurts to touch the door, which is made of steel or something but feels like ice. And turning a key with only one fully working hand isn't much fun either. Ide grits his teeth, tries to get himself to stay calm - the worst has got to be over, we've done what he wanted - but it's not helping. His chest is tight with panic, and no matter how much he tries to take deep breaths, it doesn't help.
"We should take the tape player," Matsuda says, as they manage to turn the second key. In the dim light he looks grey. "We'll look really stupid if he gives us tapes and we haven't got anything to play them on."
Ide wants to respond with something childish like I don't care what he's going to say, but he knows that that isn't true. So, shrugging, he goes to pick the tape player up, tucks it into his jacket pocket, then comes back and helps Matsuda turn the key.
And the door creaks open.
Please let it be the outside, please -
Of course, it's not. It's a low, dull corridor, lit with a few grubby strip lights. No windows - are they in a basement somewhere? - and still cold, although not the freezer-quality of the room they woke up in.
As the door opens fully, there's a click. Matsuda jumps, stumbles closer to Ide, but there are no explosions, no shots, nothing except that voice:
"Well done. You've won the first game. But it isn't quite over. You're probably feeling quite nervous by now, so take the time to think as you walk. Maybe you've realised how much you value being alive, but can you trust each other to understand that? Sometimes, you have to accept an unhappy ending."
"What does that even mean?" Matsuda demands. He's shaking, but for once it probably is more to do with the cold than anything else - getting the key seems to have stopped him panicking. "Why can't he just spell it out like a normal person?"
"He isn't a normal person. Normal people don't put people in death traps, remember?"
"Huh." Matsuda makes to shove his hands in his pockets, then stops. "Hey - do you think he's here now?"
"I bet..." Ide glances round at the darkened corridor. "I bet he's watching. But he probably isn't anywhere we can get to him. Maybe there's a camera somewhere."
Matsuda scowls. "He's probably getting off on it, isn't he."
"Is that really relevant?" Ide can't decide whether it's vaguely soothing having Matsuda make pointless remarks like that or really, really irritating. His chest is still tight, and he feels queasy.
"Sorry," Matsuda says. "Guess I'm talking too much, I just... I'm kind of jumpy, you know?"
Ide shrugs. Their footsteps echo down the corridor, the only sound. There probably isn't anyone else around; why would there be? It smells mouldy, like no one's emptied the rubbish for years and a few birds have died in the corners into the bargain.
"How much air do you think there is in here?" Matsuda says, at last, in a small voice.
"Why are you asking? Do you really think I'll know?"
"Just feels like there isn't much, that's all. Like... it's... my chest kind of hurts, that's all. And I feel sort of sick."
"That doesn't mean we're running out of air!" Ide snaps back at him. "You could be feeling bad because of the burns! Or because it smells like shit in here, or just because you're panicking! Why do you always jump to conclusions?" And even as he yells it he knows Matsuda isn't panicking, that if anyone's panicking it's him, but to die in here, in the dark, being watched and someone fucking laughing because you're trying so desperately to stay alive -
Matsuda looks back at him, and for a moment he looks hurt. But then he shrugs, and that irritating goofy grin - a good deal less hopeful than usual, but still - creeps over his face.
"You're probably right," he says. "Guess I'm just not looking on the bright side."
"That wasn't - that wasn't exactly what I meant." Ide isn't sure exactly what he did mean. Possibly nothing.
Matsuda shrugs. "Anyway, he doesn't want us just to die 'cause of the air running out, does he? He - he'll want it to be - more interesting than that -" He's walking a bit faster. Ide doesn't blame him. "I'm being dumb."
Ide wants to say no you're not, but he's not sure if it's true. Instead, he remarks, "You're a hell of a lot more perky than you were when we first started."
"Yeah, well... it was a lot worse thinking about what we might have to do, you know? After all the people we've found... I mean, I know I used to wonder what I'd do if I ever... but I didn't think it'd ever happen."
Ide swallows. He never thought about what he'd do if. He's never seen the point of it. (And besides, if you did, you'd only start getting jumpy, and then you'd be more likely to screw up, and he doesn't screw up, not like Matsuda does, that's why he's not going to die -)
"But now it's all right," Matsuda's continuing. "Well, not... all right. But... I mean, it hurt like hell, but I'm still alive. I figure if I can do that, I can do anything."
"Look, could you not say this kind of stuff? The bastard's probably thinking up some trap that'll break you as we speak."
"But it's gonna be fine, Ide, you know it is..."
His voice trails off as they turn the corner. Ahead of them there's another door, hung over with shadow.
"Be careful," Ide whispers. God, just speaking is making him feel sick now. This place stinks.
"You think - you think this is it?"
"Wouldn't surprise me. Just - don't trip on anything, or touch anything, or..."
"Get us killed. I know."
They're walking more slowly now.
When they're halfway there, Matsuda speaks again.
"Hey... I'm glad I'm not in this on my own. Don't you reckon?"
"If that's supposed to make me feel better about being here, it's not helping."
Matsuda laughs, and they keep walking.
***
It takes them far longer than it should've done to spot the corpse. At first Ide thinks it's just an oddly-shaped patch of shadow and that his mind's playing tricks on him, that he's seeing death everywhere -
And then, "Ide," Matsuda is whispering, and he's trembling again, "Ide, there's a body by the door."
The smell of rot is really bad now. Ide coughs, hears himself retch.
"You reckon it's real?" Matsuda says. "It smells real. God, I wonder if it's someone in another trap - I -" He's squatting down to look at it, uninjured hand over his mouth and nose. "I think they got shot -"
"Matsuda, we don't have time for this!"
"But there's - it's holding stuff -"
Ide comes over to look, trying not to breathe too deeply. In the corpse's right hand is what looks like some kind of syringe, in a clear plastic box. Tied around the same wrist is another tape. And in its left hand is a gun.
"Give me the tape," he snaps.
Matsuda nods, is already fumbling with the bands securing it. Ide grabs it off him, wrenches the cassette player from his pocket - his hands are shaking, mustn't panic, keep breathing, why is that so fucking hard? - slides the tape into the slot, hits play:
"Hello, once again. The time has come to play the final game.
Both of you have been breathing in a deadly nerve gas since you woke up in this building. The initial symptoms are shortness of breath and nausea, but rapidly worsen, ending in coma and suffocation. Our friend on the floor blew his brains out rather than let it get that far, but there's still enough ammunition left to do what's necessary.
Because at present, there's only enough antidote for one person, and the door in front of you will give you a nasty shock if you try and leave that way. You could look for alternatives, but do you really have enough time?
Can you trust yourselves to make the right choice?"
Matsuda stares at the tape, then glances at the corpse. He's gone dead white in the lights, but his mouth is set in a shaky smile still - "Ide, he can't... it can't really... if we were breathing in gas we'd notice, we'd have to, he can't -"
"You said you couldn't breathe properly! You said you felt sick - god damn it, he's been playing us all along -" Ide closes his eyes a moment, but the lines of lights and the sprawled corpse and Matsuda's pale, terrified face hang in his mind anyway. There has to be - but there isn't - "He said to you, he said about someone living might mean someone else dying. That you had to make difficult choices and, and it was all other people's fault -"
"Yeah, but -"
"So he wants you to kill me! That's his fucking plan, isn't it? Get you to finally take life seriously!"
"No, I -"
"Shoot me in the head or, or just leave me to choke to death -"
"I'm not going to!" Matsuda yells. "I wouldn't do that, there's got to be a way out, you said, we can make it out if we just stay calm! You said!"
"How goddamn stupid are you? You see any way of stopping this? We're poisoned already and the door's wired up to the mains or something, what the hell were you thinking of doing? Giving up and dying doesn't seem like your style!"
"Well - well, if we don't do something we'll both die!" Matsuda yells, scrambling to his feet. "Why do you think shouting at me's going to help? I didn't put us in here!"
"Fine, start acting like it's all about you as usual. He was right! You don't fucking take anything seriously!"
Matsuda's mouth drops open.
And his eyes flick from Ide to the door to the corpse -
Then to the gun.
And Ide knows, he knows that however much Matsuda might mouth off about doing the right thing and protecting the innocent, he's going to do it, he's going to shoot Ide down because he doesn't want to die here, not in the dark and the stench with the poison eating away at his lungs, he just doesn't want to die -
And they both dive for the weapon.
Ide dimly hears Matsuda yell "No, wait -" but he doesn't listen, don't want to die, don't want to fucking die and he's wrenched the gun out from under Matsuda's fingers and then he is half-crouched half-standing and it hurts gripping the weapon with both hands it hurts but he's still pulling the trigger -
The corpse stink is swallowed up by the smell of the smoke.
And Matsuda crouches, quite still, mouth open in surprise, two dark spots swelling on the front of his shirt.
"Matsuda?" Ide hears himself say, not sure why, not sure whether he's about to start arguing or justifying or pleading or - or just -
Matsuda slumps forward, that dull expression of shock still on his face, and collapses onto the ground. Already he's not looking back.
And then there's nothing left but the shadows, and the smell.
***
Aizawa's been pretty quiet as Ide told the story - bar the odd curse or muttered threat against Jigsaw - but now he's saying, numbly, as if he hasn't quite understood, "You did what? But I thought - I thought -"
"I told you when you found me," Ide says. "Remember?"
"Yes, but I thought you meant somehow you hadn't saved him. I - god -"
Ide shrugs, runs a finger across the bandages covering his right hand.
"Believe what you want," he says at last.
Aizawa stares at him for a moment. Outside the window, it's sleeting, and the hiss drowns out the sounds of the hospital around them.
"If you hadn't taken the antidote," he says, "the damage the gas did could've been a lot worse. Did they tell you that?"
"That's not the question you wanted to ask, is it."
Aizawa shrugs, almost angrily. "All right. Do you think he really was trying to shoot you?"
Ide is already staring up at the ceiling, face dull.
"Don't... don't know," he says at last. His voice is dry. "I've been thinking... I keep thinking..."
He swallows. Aizawa doesn't say anything.
"He could've... he could've lost his temper with me," Ide says at last. "When I said that to him."
"Do you think that's what happened?"
"I don't know, all right? He could've - hell, I don't know, he could've been thinking he'd shoot his way out. Bust the lock off the door or something. He was being so damn optimistic. He thought he could do anything..."
His voice trails off. Aizawa doesn't look at him; stares down at the scribbled notes he's made instead.
"I'm not asking you to - lie for me or anything," Ide says. "I know you'll have to take this further."
"For fuck's sake. That bastard - he forced you into it!" Aizawa leans forward a little, fists clenched. "They know what Jigsaw's capable of. They'll take the circumstances into account -"
"I don't care. Don't... be all pleasant like that. It's not like you. I... on the tape, he said about trust. He kept talking about trust. I think... I think he... he wanted to make Matsuda take the antidote. Difficult choice and all that..." Ide sits up a little. "And me, I had to let him do it and... and trust and... there would've been something... something else..."
"You don't know that. I can't believe your deaths would've bothered him, why the hell would he give you that chance?"
"Yeah, but there's always a way out." Ide half-smiles. "Always the hope you'll win the game."
"Well - whatever. There's no point in replaying it, not now. You should know that. What's done is done. God, I..."
"I know." Ide isn't looking at him now. "But... when you fail a test you can't... you can't help thinking of how you could've passed."
[Fandom] Death Note/Saw
[Rating] R
[Pairings/Characters] Matsuda and Ide, plus additional dialogue from Aizawa and Jigsaw >_>
[Warnings] Violence, somewhat unpleasant death traps, death
[Notes/Summary] Matsuda and Ide are fighting for their lives, but in the Jigsaw killer's sick mindset, is anything what it seems?
Written for and crossposted to
dn_contest, prompt "Halloween".Ide's annoyed to find his hands shaking as he puts the first cassette into the tape player. Under his palms the surface of the machine is slightly sticky, but the bare lightbulb hanging from the ceiling isn't bright enough to show exactly how dirty it is. Judging by the rest of the room, though, he probably doesn't want to handle it longer than necessary.
Next to him, Matsuda watches, arms wrapped round himself, air coming in clouds from his mouth. For once, he's quiet, and still except for his shivering and his quick glances round the room. Ide follows his stare for a second. The walls are coated with layers of mould and dirt and what could easily be blood, and it's freezing.
Ide has been thinking meat locker ever since he woke up here and got a proper look. He really, really wishes he wasn't.
And they don't have time to get distracted. He presses play.
"Hello, Ide-san."
The voice is rough and hoarse, just as it was on the tapes they've recovered from other crime scenes. (Which proves it, which proves they're -) Matsuda gulps, shudders, but he doesn't say anything, they just listen.
(He knew them, that was the horrible thing. He'd been watching them and they hadn't even been close to tracking him down.)
"I know you're not particularly good at recreation, but I want to play a game. You see, you no longer live, you simply exist. You hunt down those who have the strength to take what you wish you had, but instead of letting it motivate you, you've simply grown bitter and distrustful. Now, I want to see if you care about life outside of work after all. Can you reach past yourself, no matter how much it stings to admit you were wrong?
Live or die.
Make your choice."
The tape hisses to a stop.
"Oh god," Matsuda whispers at last, "oh god, oh god -"
"Shut up," Ide hears himself say, sounding as angry as if he knows exactly what to do, as if he has a hope in hell of surviving this, "for god's sake, panicking is not going to solve anything -"
"We're going to die!" Matsuda wails, "you saw what happened to all the others, we're going to die -"
Ide grabs him, shakes him (wants to punch him for giving in to terror this quickly) and Matsuda stops, swallowing.
"Sorry..." he mutters. "Just... just..."
"You know there's always a way out," Ide says, fiercely enough to convince himself as well as Matsuda, "there's always a way out, we just have to find it. But if we panic, we really will die."
"I... I know."
"Let's play the tape he gave you."
After a few moments, Matsuda hands over the tape.
"I know how to live," he whispers, his voice shaking. "I've got a life outside work. You know I have. It's not fair, I'm not supposed to be here -"
He stops as Ide puts the second tape into the cassette player, and shifts back a little.
When that voice says Hello, Matsuda-san, Matsuda closes his eyes and his clouded breath drifts even faster. Ide tries not to look at him, to focus on listening to the tape, but his mind keeps running around trying to pretend this isn't happening, that he's panicked after working so hard on the damn Jigsaw killer case and this is a dream, that something, and the spoken words can't get through the panic buzzing like static in his head.
"You don't take anything seriously. But you probably know that, don't you? Other people have told you enough times. Other people do a lot for you. They make the difficult choices for you. They help you choose a side. They assist you in pretending that sacrifices don't have to be made.
But there are always sacrifices, Matsuda-san. To win this game, you'll need to face the fact that one person living means another might have to die. Better reach deeper and see what you find, no matter how painful it may be.
Let the game begin."
The tape stops. Ide glances over at Matsuda, who's pressing his lips together, eyes big and terrified. After a few seconds he reaches out for the tape player, hand shaking, and then presses rewind.
don't take anything seriously. But you probably know that
"Come on," Ide says, "let's start - start thinking -"
you don't take anything seriously. But you
Matsuda snaps off the tape.
"I do..." He swallows. "I do take things seriously. I do, he - he doesn't know anything. Just because..."
Ide nearly says no, you don't, but he's damned if he's going to agree with a serial killer. And it's not like it'd be a helpful remark anyway.
Matsuda stares down at the cassette player again. His hands are shaking so much now that he struggles to press the buttons.
people do a lot for you. They make
Huh. It has to sting when you realise your colleagues, your superiors, your family and even the murderer you're supposed to be hunting down are all united in the belief that you're incompetent.
"Stop it," he says. "We don't have time to... besides, it's bullshit anyway."
Matsuda looks up at him.
"Yeah," he says at last. "Yeah. I mean, he said a load of stuff about you that - that isn't true either."
"Exactly."
(Jigsaw's crazy and the tape only proves it. Ide knows how to live, he's not like that guy who slit his wrists and ended up on the razor wire, he wants to live, and if he doesn't trust easily that's just a side-effect of being a cop, all right? Unless you're Matsuda, of course, who seems to have been born without cynicism -)
Matsuda hits fast forward now, and that voice rasps out again.
matter how painful it may be. Let the game begin
"Anyway, it doesn't matter what's true and what's not," Ide says. "Our priority's got to be surviving."
Matsuda nods, stares round the room.
"It doesn't look like - like there's anything set to - to explode or whatever in here," he says. "We could - we could just wait. I mean, the others will be looking for us, right? It's..." He glances at his watch, frowns. "Hey, do you think it's three a.m. or three p.m.?"
"If we wait," Ide says, "we could freeze to death before they find us. Or we'll wait, realise they don't know where we are, which I bet they don't, decide to - to fight our way out, and be weakened because we've been in here so long."
"But it'll - but he'll -"
"Don't think about it. Let's try and see what we have to do."
Matsuda gets up, hurries over to the door - still looking round warily every so often - and tries the handle. "It's - it's locked. Figures, huh?"
"Okay, so there's got to be a key somewhere around here."
"Two - two keys." Matsuda's teeth are chattering a little. "Two locks."
"Right. Let's -"
They both spot the metal tank in the corner at the same time.
"Be careful," Ide hisses as they walk over to it. His teeth are chattering as well now; the cold sticks in his chest. But in a way the temperature helps. Stops him thinking too much about all the crime scene photos he's studied for this case, at least. Bodies cut and burnt and mutilated, corpses missing teeth or fingers or limbs; shattered hands and feet, pulped skulls, empty eye sockets -
Plus it's so cold he can kid himself that's the only reason he's shaking.
The tank is about a foot high, and slightly less filthy than the wall behind it. Matsuda kneels down next to it, and his reflection, dead white, stares up at them. And there on the bottom, lying about a couple of feet away from each other, are the two keys.
"So we just have to reach into the water, right?" Matsuda glances round, warily. He's probably thinking about the photographs as well. "One key for each of us. You really think that's all it is?"
"On my tape," Ide says, slowly, "he said reach past yourself..."
"Yeah - and, and on mine he said something about reaching too, didn't he? That's got to be it. So let's just -"
"Do you really think he's going to ask us to do something that easy?" Ide hears his voice shaking, it's cold, that's all, teeth chattering, get a grip, for god's sake - "Take a proper look. I... I bet you it's not anything as harmless as water."
Matsuda leans a little closer, squints.
"I can't tell," he mutters. "Not in this light. It could be something different, it looks a bit of a weird colour, but..."
"Reach past yourself, no matter how much it stings..."
He expects Matsuda to freak out, to start yelling about how unfair it is, or just to refuse to do anything, demand to wait until someone else comes along to save them. But Matsuda doesn't. He just slumps a little, and then he whispers, "It isn't water, is it."
"You know how much the bastard loves his hints."
"What - what do you think it is?"
"I don't know. Acid, maybe? That'd look right."
Matsuda says, still very quietly, "So we have to -"
"Yes."
After another pause, Matsuda looks at him, swallows, hard. "N... now?"
"It's not going to turn into something else if we wait long enough." Ide feels like he really is dreaming, and, like you do in dreams, going along with total lunacy because it makes perfect sense at the time. They're going to plunge their hands into that damn tank and whatever that stuff is it's not going to be pleasant and yet, right now, right now he can't quite believe it, it won't really hurt, yeah, well, all the others probably couldn't quite believe it, could they? I'm not going to die here, you can survive if you - if you can just -
"Now," he says. "Otherwise we'll wimp out. Roll up your sleeve, we don't want to get that stuff on us more than we have to."
Matsuda, looking sick, nods, starts unbuttoning his shirt cuff, hand shaking. "We just reach in and snatch them out, yeah?"
"Yeah. One each." It occurs to Ide that in theory, one person could grab both keys, but there probably wouldn't be much left of their skin by the time they'd done it. He's certainly not volunteering. He's not that selfless. Damn it, he's not selfless at all. "Don't drop it once you've got hold of it, for heaven's sake. And don't let the stuff splash up into your face."
"I - I'll try."
"No, you won't let it. I doubt blinding yourself is going to make this any easier."
Matsuda takes a deep, shaking breath. He's got his left sleeve rolled up now; his hands are trembling. Ide starts to fumble with his own shirt cuff, his cold fingers hardly able to feel it. Get a fucking grip - Eventually - and Matsuda keeps staring at him, like he thinks Ide's trying to put it off or something - he's rolling up his sleeve, trying not to wince as the icy air hits bare skin. There's going to be worse pain to deal with in a few seconds.
Don't think about it.
"Ready?" he says.
Matsuda laughs, chokily. "No."
"Come on."
"We're... we're going to look like real idiots if it turns out to only be water."
"That's fine. Looking like an idiot's the least of my problems right now." Ide swallows. His throat keeps going dry. "All right. On three."
"Sure." Matsuda grips his left hand with the right for a second, then lets it go, taking a long, shaky breath. Ide rests his right hand on the edge of the tank; after a few seconds, Matsuda joins him, placing his left there.
"Don't you dare bail on me."
"I won't!" Matsuda actually sounds hurt, as if he can afford to worry about slurs on his character. "I promise. Get the key, get out..."
"Don't say nobody gets hurt."
Matsuda laughs again, a short, shaky laugh.
"Okay," Ide says. His throat is so dry he can hardly get the word out. "One."
The dim light glints on the surface of the liquid.
"Two."
Matsuda reaches out and grips Ide's left wrist, nails digging in, and Ide realises how much he's trembling.
"Three!"
And they both sink their hands down into the tank.
For one tiny moment Ide thinks it is water, got to be, it's just cool, it -
Then the pain starts.
He sees his hand, pale under the liquid and light, reaching for the key and he does feel the cold metal under his palm, under the the pain, he does but it's far away it's all too far away, and it hurts it fucking hurts and don't panic don't splash about and keep hold of the fucking key I mean it don't you let go don't you dare -
- and Matsuda is screaming -
- and Ide yanks his arm out of the liquid and the pain keeps crawling over his skin like ants, no, worse, like something's crushing his palm and Matsuda is still yelling but Ide can't turn his head to look at him, he's just staring at the key and, and he -
- can't think -
***
"Ide, wake up -"
cold
"- please -"
something - got my hand -
"Please?"
hurts
He opens his eyes, tries to sit up. For a moment the room splits into darkness again, but then he takes a gulp of chilly air and it slides back to its proper place.
The tapes and the keys and playing his damn game -
The keys...
His head aches, and his mouth tastes sickly, but that's nothing compared to his hand -
"Oh, god..."
"It's all right," Matsuda says, firmly. His eyes are wide, and the light glows in the sweat on his face. "It's - it's all right. You just blacked out. Because it - it hurt, but it's all right -"
"Didn't... I don't black out." Ide sits up, properly. His head lurches. "I was just..."
He looks down at his hand.
He half-expects to see bones, smoke curling up from the skin, something cartoon-horrible enough to match up with the grinding ache. Stupid, of course; he can't see much at all in the dim light. The skin's reddened, and, and too shiny, and when he tries to move his fingers it feels as if they've been coated with plaster or something and dear god it hurts -
"Yours... is yours the same?"
Matsuda nods. "But - but I got the key. I didn't drop it or anything, you were right! And yours is there, you didn't let it go under again, so... so we can get out of here."
"Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Come on." He scrambles to his feet, or tries to - the floor seems to tilt, and he drops back on to his knees, tasting nausea at the back of his throat. Too much spit in his mouth, and he swallows; he's not going to throw up in front of Matsuda.
"You want - you want to rest a little?" Matsuda says. "I mean, I know we have - we have to get moving, but... you kind of look dead. I mean - god - sorry -"
Ide hears himself laugh. "Forget it. The point is... is, we're not dead. Give me a minute, I'll... I'll be fine."
Matsuda nods, goes quiet. His breathing is still shaky, and every so often it threatens to turn into a yelp. Never actually makes it, though.
"You reckon it'll scar?" he says at last.
"What, our hands? Probably, at least a bit... Depends - depends how long it is before we... get them looked at." He suddenly wishes he hadn't said that. There's no guarantee that's the end of it, is there? All right, most of the victims only had to do one thing to survive, but they were on their own as well, and they weren't cops. He and Matsuda could both die here and their hands will never get a chance to heal and okay, it's dumb thinking like that, Matsuda's the one who's supposed to be giving up, he himself isn't going to, because he's going to survive this, he's going to survive -
"All right," he says. "Let's go."
"Are you sure you're okay? You still look kind of -"
"I'm fine." He sounds angrier than he meant to, and Matsuda goes silent, nods, stares at his feet.
It hurts to touch the door, which is made of steel or something but feels like ice. And turning a key with only one fully working hand isn't much fun either. Ide grits his teeth, tries to get himself to stay calm - the worst has got to be over, we've done what he wanted - but it's not helping. His chest is tight with panic, and no matter how much he tries to take deep breaths, it doesn't help.
"We should take the tape player," Matsuda says, as they manage to turn the second key. In the dim light he looks grey. "We'll look really stupid if he gives us tapes and we haven't got anything to play them on."
Ide wants to respond with something childish like I don't care what he's going to say, but he knows that that isn't true. So, shrugging, he goes to pick the tape player up, tucks it into his jacket pocket, then comes back and helps Matsuda turn the key.
And the door creaks open.
Please let it be the outside, please -
Of course, it's not. It's a low, dull corridor, lit with a few grubby strip lights. No windows - are they in a basement somewhere? - and still cold, although not the freezer-quality of the room they woke up in.
As the door opens fully, there's a click. Matsuda jumps, stumbles closer to Ide, but there are no explosions, no shots, nothing except that voice:
"Well done. You've won the first game. But it isn't quite over. You're probably feeling quite nervous by now, so take the time to think as you walk. Maybe you've realised how much you value being alive, but can you trust each other to understand that? Sometimes, you have to accept an unhappy ending."
"What does that even mean?" Matsuda demands. He's shaking, but for once it probably is more to do with the cold than anything else - getting the key seems to have stopped him panicking. "Why can't he just spell it out like a normal person?"
"He isn't a normal person. Normal people don't put people in death traps, remember?"
"Huh." Matsuda makes to shove his hands in his pockets, then stops. "Hey - do you think he's here now?"
"I bet..." Ide glances round at the darkened corridor. "I bet he's watching. But he probably isn't anywhere we can get to him. Maybe there's a camera somewhere."
Matsuda scowls. "He's probably getting off on it, isn't he."
"Is that really relevant?" Ide can't decide whether it's vaguely soothing having Matsuda make pointless remarks like that or really, really irritating. His chest is still tight, and he feels queasy.
"Sorry," Matsuda says. "Guess I'm talking too much, I just... I'm kind of jumpy, you know?"
Ide shrugs. Their footsteps echo down the corridor, the only sound. There probably isn't anyone else around; why would there be? It smells mouldy, like no one's emptied the rubbish for years and a few birds have died in the corners into the bargain.
"How much air do you think there is in here?" Matsuda says, at last, in a small voice.
"Why are you asking? Do you really think I'll know?"
"Just feels like there isn't much, that's all. Like... it's... my chest kind of hurts, that's all. And I feel sort of sick."
"That doesn't mean we're running out of air!" Ide snaps back at him. "You could be feeling bad because of the burns! Or because it smells like shit in here, or just because you're panicking! Why do you always jump to conclusions?" And even as he yells it he knows Matsuda isn't panicking, that if anyone's panicking it's him, but to die in here, in the dark, being watched and someone fucking laughing because you're trying so desperately to stay alive -
Matsuda looks back at him, and for a moment he looks hurt. But then he shrugs, and that irritating goofy grin - a good deal less hopeful than usual, but still - creeps over his face.
"You're probably right," he says. "Guess I'm just not looking on the bright side."
"That wasn't - that wasn't exactly what I meant." Ide isn't sure exactly what he did mean. Possibly nothing.
Matsuda shrugs. "Anyway, he doesn't want us just to die 'cause of the air running out, does he? He - he'll want it to be - more interesting than that -" He's walking a bit faster. Ide doesn't blame him. "I'm being dumb."
Ide wants to say no you're not, but he's not sure if it's true. Instead, he remarks, "You're a hell of a lot more perky than you were when we first started."
"Yeah, well... it was a lot worse thinking about what we might have to do, you know? After all the people we've found... I mean, I know I used to wonder what I'd do if I ever... but I didn't think it'd ever happen."
Ide swallows. He never thought about what he'd do if. He's never seen the point of it. (And besides, if you did, you'd only start getting jumpy, and then you'd be more likely to screw up, and he doesn't screw up, not like Matsuda does, that's why he's not going to die -)
"But now it's all right," Matsuda's continuing. "Well, not... all right. But... I mean, it hurt like hell, but I'm still alive. I figure if I can do that, I can do anything."
"Look, could you not say this kind of stuff? The bastard's probably thinking up some trap that'll break you as we speak."
"But it's gonna be fine, Ide, you know it is..."
His voice trails off as they turn the corner. Ahead of them there's another door, hung over with shadow.
"Be careful," Ide whispers. God, just speaking is making him feel sick now. This place stinks.
"You think - you think this is it?"
"Wouldn't surprise me. Just - don't trip on anything, or touch anything, or..."
"Get us killed. I know."
They're walking more slowly now.
When they're halfway there, Matsuda speaks again.
"Hey... I'm glad I'm not in this on my own. Don't you reckon?"
"If that's supposed to make me feel better about being here, it's not helping."
Matsuda laughs, and they keep walking.
***
It takes them far longer than it should've done to spot the corpse. At first Ide thinks it's just an oddly-shaped patch of shadow and that his mind's playing tricks on him, that he's seeing death everywhere -
And then, "Ide," Matsuda is whispering, and he's trembling again, "Ide, there's a body by the door."
The smell of rot is really bad now. Ide coughs, hears himself retch.
"You reckon it's real?" Matsuda says. "It smells real. God, I wonder if it's someone in another trap - I -" He's squatting down to look at it, uninjured hand over his mouth and nose. "I think they got shot -"
"Matsuda, we don't have time for this!"
"But there's - it's holding stuff -"
Ide comes over to look, trying not to breathe too deeply. In the corpse's right hand is what looks like some kind of syringe, in a clear plastic box. Tied around the same wrist is another tape. And in its left hand is a gun.
"Give me the tape," he snaps.
Matsuda nods, is already fumbling with the bands securing it. Ide grabs it off him, wrenches the cassette player from his pocket - his hands are shaking, mustn't panic, keep breathing, why is that so fucking hard? - slides the tape into the slot, hits play:
"Hello, once again. The time has come to play the final game.
Both of you have been breathing in a deadly nerve gas since you woke up in this building. The initial symptoms are shortness of breath and nausea, but rapidly worsen, ending in coma and suffocation. Our friend on the floor blew his brains out rather than let it get that far, but there's still enough ammunition left to do what's necessary.
Because at present, there's only enough antidote for one person, and the door in front of you will give you a nasty shock if you try and leave that way. You could look for alternatives, but do you really have enough time?
Can you trust yourselves to make the right choice?"
Matsuda stares at the tape, then glances at the corpse. He's gone dead white in the lights, but his mouth is set in a shaky smile still - "Ide, he can't... it can't really... if we were breathing in gas we'd notice, we'd have to, he can't -"
"You said you couldn't breathe properly! You said you felt sick - god damn it, he's been playing us all along -" Ide closes his eyes a moment, but the lines of lights and the sprawled corpse and Matsuda's pale, terrified face hang in his mind anyway. There has to be - but there isn't - "He said to you, he said about someone living might mean someone else dying. That you had to make difficult choices and, and it was all other people's fault -"
"Yeah, but -"
"So he wants you to kill me! That's his fucking plan, isn't it? Get you to finally take life seriously!"
"No, I -"
"Shoot me in the head or, or just leave me to choke to death -"
"I'm not going to!" Matsuda yells. "I wouldn't do that, there's got to be a way out, you said, we can make it out if we just stay calm! You said!"
"How goddamn stupid are you? You see any way of stopping this? We're poisoned already and the door's wired up to the mains or something, what the hell were you thinking of doing? Giving up and dying doesn't seem like your style!"
"Well - well, if we don't do something we'll both die!" Matsuda yells, scrambling to his feet. "Why do you think shouting at me's going to help? I didn't put us in here!"
"Fine, start acting like it's all about you as usual. He was right! You don't fucking take anything seriously!"
Matsuda's mouth drops open.
And his eyes flick from Ide to the door to the corpse -
Then to the gun.
And Ide knows, he knows that however much Matsuda might mouth off about doing the right thing and protecting the innocent, he's going to do it, he's going to shoot Ide down because he doesn't want to die here, not in the dark and the stench with the poison eating away at his lungs, he just doesn't want to die -
And they both dive for the weapon.
Ide dimly hears Matsuda yell "No, wait -" but he doesn't listen, don't want to die, don't want to fucking die and he's wrenched the gun out from under Matsuda's fingers and then he is half-crouched half-standing and it hurts gripping the weapon with both hands it hurts but he's still pulling the trigger -
The corpse stink is swallowed up by the smell of the smoke.
And Matsuda crouches, quite still, mouth open in surprise, two dark spots swelling on the front of his shirt.
"Matsuda?" Ide hears himself say, not sure why, not sure whether he's about to start arguing or justifying or pleading or - or just -
Matsuda slumps forward, that dull expression of shock still on his face, and collapses onto the ground. Already he's not looking back.
And then there's nothing left but the shadows, and the smell.
***
Aizawa's been pretty quiet as Ide told the story - bar the odd curse or muttered threat against Jigsaw - but now he's saying, numbly, as if he hasn't quite understood, "You did what? But I thought - I thought -"
"I told you when you found me," Ide says. "Remember?"
"Yes, but I thought you meant somehow you hadn't saved him. I - god -"
Ide shrugs, runs a finger across the bandages covering his right hand.
"Believe what you want," he says at last.
Aizawa stares at him for a moment. Outside the window, it's sleeting, and the hiss drowns out the sounds of the hospital around them.
"If you hadn't taken the antidote," he says, "the damage the gas did could've been a lot worse. Did they tell you that?"
"That's not the question you wanted to ask, is it."
Aizawa shrugs, almost angrily. "All right. Do you think he really was trying to shoot you?"
Ide is already staring up at the ceiling, face dull.
"Don't... don't know," he says at last. His voice is dry. "I've been thinking... I keep thinking..."
He swallows. Aizawa doesn't say anything.
"He could've... he could've lost his temper with me," Ide says at last. "When I said that to him."
"Do you think that's what happened?"
"I don't know, all right? He could've - hell, I don't know, he could've been thinking he'd shoot his way out. Bust the lock off the door or something. He was being so damn optimistic. He thought he could do anything..."
His voice trails off. Aizawa doesn't look at him; stares down at the scribbled notes he's made instead.
"I'm not asking you to - lie for me or anything," Ide says. "I know you'll have to take this further."
"For fuck's sake. That bastard - he forced you into it!" Aizawa leans forward a little, fists clenched. "They know what Jigsaw's capable of. They'll take the circumstances into account -"
"I don't care. Don't... be all pleasant like that. It's not like you. I... on the tape, he said about trust. He kept talking about trust. I think... I think he... he wanted to make Matsuda take the antidote. Difficult choice and all that..." Ide sits up a little. "And me, I had to let him do it and... and trust and... there would've been something... something else..."
"You don't know that. I can't believe your deaths would've bothered him, why the hell would he give you that chance?"
"Yeah, but there's always a way out." Ide half-smiles. "Always the hope you'll win the game."
"Well - whatever. There's no point in replaying it, not now. You should know that. What's done is done. God, I..."
"I know." Ide isn't looking at him now. "But... when you fail a test you can't... you can't help thinking of how you could've passed."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 01:37 am (UTC)Well done!
no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 09:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 11:08 pm (UTC)OK, so I have never actually seen any of the Saw films, and **MOST** of me is not really planning on ever watching them.
However this was Ide and Matsuda, and, well, how could I resist reading it? It was written really well and with a hell of a lot of tension and suspense. I did wonder if there was a gas when Matsuda said that he felt sick and stuff, but wasn't sure, so I was pleased to discover that I was right!
I hate you though. I hope you know that *nods* You killed matsu. Evil meany! *pout*
no subject
Date: 2008-10-31 05:36 pm (UTC)Anyway, thank you very much for reading and commenting! I'm really glad you liked it. And I'm pleased you noticed the hints about the gas too!
I am genuinely really sorry I killed Matsuda. I hate doing it every time it happens.
no subject
Date: 2008-11-05 08:26 pm (UTC)I'm quite pleased with myself on that (though I think you should know that you have given me the smallest, smallest urge to actually watch those damn saw films. Grr!)
Oh no! First it's all "Raito made me do it!" and then it's "Oh, it was Ide's fault!" You're not allowed to start blaming Lycoris as well!
no subject
Date: 2008-11-06 12:52 pm (UTC)*is contrite under finger-wagging Ginji's disapproval* But it was! This time it genuinely was! It was all her fault!
IT'S A TRAP! NEAR IS TRYING TO FRAME ME!no subject
Date: 2008-11-06 10:01 pm (UTC)He probably is...no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 09:35 pm (UTC)Omg, it all makes sense. *blames Near for everything*no subject
Date: 2008-10-31 07:44 pm (UTC)Although...you seem to kill Matsuda a lot considering he's one of your favourite characters. *suspicious look*Awesome. :Dno subject
Date: 2008-11-03 12:45 pm (UTC)I don't! I promise! When have I ever killed him in front of you? ;_;Thank you! :D
no subject
Date: 2008-11-02 07:31 pm (UTC)Anyway, it was a pretty fantastic story! I have to admit the traps didn't make me squick as much as some of your other Saw fanfics, but that's okay because I think the guilt serves as a greater wound than the mutilatory stuff. I also really loved how you characterized the two and how Ide just wouldn't get along with Matsuda almost on general principal, even if it meant saving both of their lives.
Also, ♥ for Aizawa as usual!
no subject
Date: 2008-11-03 12:43 pm (UTC)Thank you! As I was going to have to describe the whole thing this time I didn't want it to be too squicky, I felt it might get overblown, but I'm really glad you liked it anyway and that you liked the characterisation! I had fun writing it :D
Much love for Aizawa indeed!