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tallulahgs[Title] Broken Hallelujahs
[Rating] PG-13 (slightly above that language-wise)
[Fandom] Death Note
[Story Summary] AU. Neither Raito nor Near's victory went as planned. Now the task force and the SPK are on the run with Kira's notebook and all the power of the new world against them.
Penultimate chapter! Who's going to make it out alive?
[Chapter 16 on Fanfiction.net]
[Chapter 16 on skyehawke.com]
[Rating] PG-13 (slightly above that language-wise)
[Fandom] Death Note
[Story Summary] AU. Neither Raito nor Near's victory went as planned. Now the task force and the SPK are on the run with Kira's notebook and all the power of the new world against them.
Penultimate chapter! Who's going to make it out alive?
[Chapter 16 on Fanfiction.net]
[Chapter 16 on skyehawke.com]
Re: a review
Date: 2012-02-03 09:09 pm (UTC)Aizawa is totally the Chief-lite and always has been. Yeah, I really wanted it to be that he does something that objectively seems stupid, or not worth the risk, because he's been all about trying to do the right thing Even When.
I'm glad the Raito-Matsuda showdown worked for you! I had to rewrite it more than once but I was pleased with how it ended up finally. I love what you say about Matsuda here, I completely agree *hugs him* and nothing wrong with a bit of IT talk ;)
(Glad you noticed! :D Originally I had Raito die onscreen, but it felt repetitive of canon, so I shuffled him off earlier.)
So glad you are liking the fic and it is giving you lots to say. I feel proud!
no subject
Date: 2012-02-04 03:37 am (UTC)I liked that very much, the unexpected action from Aizawa. And I can totally see the build-up to their televised execution and the sudden!survival as a kind of catalyst for making spur-of-the-moment, bold, and somewhat irrational decisions. Hell, the Chief had certainly done a fair share of these (from a hospital bed to a one-man assault on Sakura TV headquarters, for example).
I think it was an excellent decision to have Raito die offscreen. The manga gave him a multi-page death scene (not saying you couldn't match or top that), so it was better to make his death a more distant experience, almost as if separating Raito from Kira -- Raito is human and susceptible to death, but Kira has by now grown to such proportions that he will not die as easily. Of course, I'm biased, at the back of my mind I'm thinking, serves you right, Raito! (you asshole). ^_^
I know I experimented with my review styles a bit, I hope you enjoyed them. If it isn't obvious, every one of my paragraphs can be prefaced with I like how....
no subject
Date: 2012-02-04 07:34 pm (UTC)I couldn't match it with the situations being so similar - it just felt like I was weakening my own dramatic climax! ;) But I really like your point about it working thematically. And as you say in your other comment - Kira can manage the world, but Raito can't.
(I thought that too. It is totally reasonable.)
I did! And I'm glad you liked stuff ^^
no subject
Date: 2012-02-06 03:00 am (UTC)I remember a doujin in which Raito dies of old age and ends up in the shinigami realm where he's told his punishment will be to "relive" the death of every person he'd killed. At first he's terrified, but then he realizes that this punishment at least give him some time to "live" so he decides to go and make an offer to the shinigami king to help revive the realm or some such. Despite my misgivings about Raito, I can totally see this happening (him trying to match wits the shinigami "old man" and maybe even win him over). I was amused by it, though I suspect the (human) world he left behind was pretty much "unliveable" at that point.
no subject
Date: 2012-02-08 09:35 pm (UTC)I guess, also, it's not just that he stretches himself too thin - he also... his focus narrows. He becomes even more focused on himself, and on being a god, rather than thinking smart. I think the five-year-timeskip didn't help him.
no subject
Date: 2012-02-04 07:37 pm (UTC)